


Akai Oni, Book 1: Liberator

by spookysu



Series: Akai Oni [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Cryptids, F/F, Japanese Mythology & Folklore, Memoirs, NaNoWriMo, Oni, Samurai, Sex Trafficking, Tengu, Useless Lesbians, Youkai, Yôkai, enjoy, lesbian warriors, lots of blood, some smut, this is really heavy and uncensored, true story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-01-28 02:38:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12596280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookysu/pseuds/spookysu
Summary: According to legend, Shuten-douji was a horrible monster, rumored to have stolen royal women and feasted upon them. Because of this, Shuten-douji was ordered to be assassinated. But did anyone bother asking her side of the tale? Read to find the true story of Shuten-douji's life!Book 1 entails the events of her life from birth to the war of Ooeyama, right on the brink of becoming infamous.NaNoWriMo 2017and beyond project. Soon-to-be published.[I’m running a Valentine’s Day special on shippy commissions!Email for a quote or more information!][Join my Discord server!][Get up to date on Liberator chapters!][Join the cover contest to read free future chapters!More info here!]





	1. Truth-Seekers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The importance of purpose and intent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is…sort of an opener to Akai Oni. I realized that I never gave this a proper prologue after my edit haul!

If someone told you they weren't human, would you believe them? What about a friend? A family member?

Probably not, right?

What if you begin to notice the way children look at them, the way they point to features you cannot see, the way they cower in fear and awe behind their parents' legs? What if you begin to notice the flicker in the weather around them when their mood changes, an odd glow to their eyes, or maybe that their teeth are a _little_ too pointed to be real? (Those _are_ implants, right?)

If any of this sounds familiar about a loved one or mysterious stranger in your life, I invite you to continue with my tale.

Even though I'm merely writing on paper, I picture myself as a peculiar, horned individual sitting on a stool on a stage, spotlight making me sweat, legs dangling off of the stool because they're always just a tad _too high_. I've always been told to tune out the audience when I'm on stage, but I can hear murmurs of the audience, some affirmative, some negative.

"But what if," some of you say in hushed whispers, "this pertains to me? I see things others don't see. I remember things that don't make sense. I'm...not like my friends or my family."

Then I thoroughly encourage you to give this a read. Probably with a drink or two, honestly, for if your life was anything like mine, you'll need it.

I can hear those edgy teens in the back, kicking their feet up on the chairs before them, drawling, "This doesn't make any sense. This is all horseshit."

If you're one of those people, then this book is definitely for you.

I try to be a gracious host to everyone, for better or for worse, after all.

* * *

 

Allow me to introduce myself.

I've talked a lot about not being human, so I will tell you, I'm an oni. Our race is a sort of horned and stereotypically rowdy bunch mostly living in the mountains of Japan (but unfortunately, I am now far from my home). We wear the colors of our auras, our life-forces, as pigments in our skin in our astral (and more monstrous) forms. We tend to be tall, a bit on the heavier side, extremely strong both physically and in will, and tend to have quite the lust for life in general, pursuing solving arguments with force before slinging an arm around that same buddy we just kicked the teeth out of for a few rounds of sake.

In short, we're warriors. We're related to orcs and trolls of the West. We're the embodiments of chaos, of revelry, and, as I have learned, challenging the norm.

I am known by most of the world's spirits as Shuten-douji. Some of the history geeks, Buddhists, Shintoists, anime fans, or really enthusiastic samurai nerds have probably heard my name before. For those of you who don't fall in that category, I'm glad. I don't have to try to convince you so hard that I'm not evil.

Just misunderstood.

How cliche.

The people who don't know me have their minds untainted with the horror stories of Heian Japan, of a giant monster kidnapping and devouring royal maidens before being ultimately done in by a heroic bunch of the emperor's men. But the ones who have heard that story, well, I'm sure you've heard a lot of legends, right? There's always this clear-cut good-versus-evil dynamic, isn't there?

Have you ever noticed that the humans are the "good" ones?

Have you ever thought of why that is?

It's because you, most likely, are human, or you're unfortunate enough to live surrounded by humanity. Humans have mostly only known their own perspective. I'm not sure if many have thought to ask someone who wasn't how these sort of stories played out.

I mean, nobody asked me.

But I'm not necessarily just writing my story to correct a bunch of closed-minded idiots. I'm writing to honor my sisters-in-arms who are now on the other side of the veil, floating around in their world after death before they are reborn yet again. I'm writing this to preserve the memories of the mountain I called home. I'm writing because I am a truth-teller and a preserver of honesty to a fault.

But most importantly, I'm writing to entertain. I love telling stories. And what a way to have my debut novel be the story that is my own?

My current voice has overstayed its welcome.

If you dare to turn the page, the next ones will be my memories, some pleasant, but most dark. It’ll tell you the truth of my childhood up to my rise to power on Ooeyama among my people. I will dispel myths people have created to demonize me, to make me sound like a horrible monster worthy of murder.

I hope you, like me, are a truth-seeker, and desire to turn the page.

And with that, to see you on the other side of this book.

Shuten-douji


	2. Of Cellars and Strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I discuss the conditions of my birth, early family, and being a child.

In my first memory, I was four years old and standing outside the mosquito netting of where my foster parents slept. I wasn’t allowed behind the nets, for they were afraid of touching me. I wasn’t...like them, you see.

I knew I wasn’t their child, biologically. At least, as much as a four-year-old could understand that. I was the only one with tiny horns on either side of my head, and my hair was a vibrant red. Everyone else in the household had long, silky black hair, and were absolutely terrified of me, as though my horns were contagious. As though there was something inherently _wrong_ with that.

“ _Haha_?” I asked. I clutched the ragdoll one of the elders of the area had made for me when I was a baby. I carried her around with me everywhere, for she was the only comfort I had, and the only one I had ever seen with horns like mine.

Even though she wasn’t real.

There was a sigh and a stirring of cloth. It was sweltering inside the house. I couldn’t help but wonder why they bothered sleeping beneath so many blankets. They were threadbare, but thick enough to trap far too much heat for my tastes.

“I told you not to call me that, Miaka-chan,” my foster-mother said. She sat up, rubbing her eyes, her body a shadowy silhouette behind the mosquito netting.

Miaka. It was the first name my foster parents had given me, with the surname Ibuki before it. The rest of my family didn’t have the family name Ibuki, and it bothered me.

“Hana,” I corrected.

“What do you want.” She didn’t word it in a way that felt like a question, which confused my childlike brain. I didn’t understand why someone would state a question. 

“I have questions,” I said, kneeling before the mosquito netting. “What am I?”

Hana groaned and rubbed her eyes some more before adjusting her position on the futon. In the shadows, I saw her put a finger to her lips.

“My daughters and husband are sleeping, Miaka-chan. Can it wait until the morning?”

I shook my head. “I can’t sleep. I’m lonely.”

She groaned. “Fine. Let’s talk outside.”

Outside! Outside was my favorite place. Our hut was small, far too small for a family of six, as it only had one room--save from the cellar, where I and their secret stash of rice and tea slept. Outside was where people went to talk, to smoke, to drink, to live. And even though I couldn’t sleep with Hana’s family behind the safety of the mosquito netting, it felt as though Hana was letting me into her heart a little by taking the time to talk to me.

“Cover your eyes,” Hana instructed in a hoarse, sleepy whisper. 

I obliged, even though I saw her naked silhouette already behind the netting. After a quiet rustle of fabric, she gave me the okay, and I lowered my hands. She had slipped into a robe but didn’t bother tying it, so it fell over her loosely. I remembered my heart skipping a beat a little as I stared at how it contoured around her breasts.

“Stop staring,” she hissed, tightening the robe with her arms.

I bowed in apology, and followed her to the front porch. She sank to her knees, and I sat beside her, wiggling my legs.

“What did you need to know?” she asked, staring at the stars in the distance. There were mountains, many mountains, along the horizon, barren of any snow in this dead summer. The stars were bright, impossibly bright, creating an entire shiny world above us, looking close enough to touch, but far away enough to wonder what was beyond them.

I chewed my thumbnail, earning a hand slap from Hana.

“Just spit it out. You should be sleeping right now.”

I swallowed. “What...am I?”

She frowned. “You’re an oni. You know that, right? It’s what the village calls you.”

I nodded. “Yeah, but...are you an oni? Are your daughters? Your husband? Why don’t you love me?”

Hana let out a long, sad sigh. “I see what you mean. You wanna know why you’re different. Why you can’t play with the other kids. Why the village elders gave you your doll in secret. Why you have to hide sometimes. Is this why you’re awake so late?”

“Mhm!” I nodded vigorously. 

“We found you in the mountains,” Hana began. “I didn’t give birth to you like my daughters. In fact, I was pregnant when I found you. We were traveling for a hunt. Food was scarce over here. My husband was chasing mountain goats, and we heard a child crying. When I picked you up…” She shook her head. “You stopped crying immediately. You looked at me with the brightest brown eyes I had ever seen. You gripped one of my fingers with your tiny red hands. You were...amazing. And I shouldn’t’ve taken you.”

“Who were my parents?” I asked

“We didn’t know. You’re were just a baby, swaddled in thick blankets, alone in a basket. But I still shouldn’t’ve taken you. Your kind isn’t...wanted. You’re destructive. Dangerous. Evil, even. And I knew that if I left you there, then you’d die, or someone from the Capitol would find you and kill you before you grew up. I wanted to give you a chance.” She covered her face. “I don’t know why I thought something so dangerous.”

I took my hands and peeled her hands from her face. “But if you kept me, then you must love me, _haha_!” 

She smacked my hands away. 

I winced, but didn’t cry. I knew if I held her hands enough, she’d eventually want to hold mine, too.

“Brat. I _told_ you not to call me your mother! I’m not your mother! All I am is a human keeping a monster alive. I hope I’ve answered your questions.”

Her voice was raising, and a lump developed in my throat. I knew I shouldn’t ask more, even though I wanted to know more. 

But I did, anyway. “Why are oni bad?”

“You spread disease and misfortune. You’re monsters. Your people are super strong, eat humans, and take what’s yours. It’s just unfortunate that you’re such a cute child.”

I gave her a slow grin, despite the cry developing within me. “See? You think I’m cute!”

She helped me stand. “Go to the cellar. It’s bedtime.”

“Will you tuck me in?”

“Do I ever?”

I sighed and dug my toes at the wooden porch. “No…”

“Go to sleep, Miaka-chan.” And she pushed me inside.

I lied in my futon that night, tossing and turning in the heat, slapping away mosquitos, playing my conversation with Hana over and over in my head. 

I didn’t know I brought misfortune. I didn’t feel terribly evil, either.

All I wanted was a mom.

\--

Things remained quiet and ordinary. Hana’s husband worked the rice fields late into the night while the three daughters played with their wooden dolls. Whenever I asked to add my doll to the mix, they always ran away.

I usually played by myself in the cellar. I made a cave out of old barrels and hid inside, sometimes singing, creating musical echoes.

“Someday,” I told my doll, “we’ll have a real family. Real friends. And we won’t have to play alone anymore.”

But years passed, and that day still hadn’t come. I was still invisible, avoided by everyone in the tiny house. My little ragdoll was my best friend.

That was, until I turned six.

That was the first time Hana ever did my hair.

My hair was long and red, brighter at the ends than at the top--at least, from what I understood from the few times I saw my reflection. In this reflection, too, I saw two horns, one on either side of my head, slowly growing longer, almost like the branches of trees. My teeth were getting sharper, too. 

Next to Hana’s daughters, I looked wild, untamed, vicious.

They were the perfect ladies.

I was a monster.

“Stop squirming,” she hissed as she raked through my ratty hair.

“My head hurts,” I whined. It wasn’t just that Hana was tearing through my hair, but my head was in excruciating pain where my horns were.

Hana froze. “Here?” 

She had smacked a horn with a hairbrush, and I howled with pain, falling to the floor. 

Instead of caring for a child in pain like a real mother, Hana snorted. “If only the other humans knew oni were so easily subdued. Your horns are weak.”

I frowned, rubbing them. “They’re not _weak_. I don’t think anyone’d like being hit on the head. See?” And I took the hairbrush from her hand smacking the side of her head.

She fell to the floor wordlessly and didn’t rise until the sun set. 

Instantly, guilt settled in my gut like spoiled rice. “ _Haha_?” I asked, shaking her.

She didn’t budge. A little blood seeped down her hair and into her ear.

Thinking fast, I tore the end of the hand-me-down _kosode_ from Hana’s oldest daughter, using it to bandage her head. After, I stayed by her side, clutching her cold hands and praying to whatever _kami_ were out there.

“I’m sorry,” I cried. “I just didn’t want to get hurt again!”

When she did awaken, her husband came home and saw what I had done, then proceeded to lock me in the cellar, putting floorboards above the trap door to my room. 

“She was wrong to keep you,” he snarled at me from above, “so now you’ll die down here.”

I flopped on my futon, laying with my back to Hana’s husband. He wouldn’t see me cry. All he would see was a child clutching a doll and a broken hairbrush.

\--

I wasn’t allowed to see the outside world, but that didn’t mean the outside world didn’t see me. 

I didn’t know how much time had passed while I was alone in the cellar, since not much light made it down there. Every once in a while, Hana would come down to bring me food, with her husband waiting at the top of the old rickety ladder, sword in hand (he always claimed it was a “family heirloom”) in case I would hurt Hana.

“I’m sorry,” I would always say.

“I know,” she would always reply. But her eyes never met mine.

My life consisted of playing with my beloved doll, making forts out of old barrels and bags, eating a single bowl of rice when Hana felt brave enough to venture to my cellar, eating rats whenever I could catch them, and sleeping. Time never really had a clear meaning to me, as I was but a child, but it had even _less_ meaning now that I was completely isolated.

And one point--I wasn’t sure how long had passed; it could’ve been a few days, or months, or even a year--I remember hearing strange scritching above the cellar. At first, I ignored it; I assumed it was Hana’s husband, putting extra precautions to make sure I didn’t break out--which did happen quite frequently, mind you. But I heard voices I didn’t recognize.

“It’s a _door_ , Izi!”

“Then open it!”

Instantly, my heart hammered in my chest. I bundled the threadbare blankets of my futon around myself, as though it would make my state of being as an oni invisible. I held my doll close to me, quivering as the latch opened on the door above the cellar. 

“It’s dark,” one of the voices said. “Give me the lantern.”

There was the sounds of the steps creaking, and a light shining. Now that there was light, I blinked a few times, my eyes trying to adjust out of the darkness I was used to. 

There were two boys who looked almost completely identical. Their hair were tied back in knots, their clothes puffy and shiny, and their faces mischievous. 

“What’re the lowlives hiding in here?”

“Who are you?” I asked.

The boys jumped, breaking one of the ladder steps and causing them to tumble down. I stood and ran toward them, pulling them up and dusting them off. Luckily, their lantern stayed lit, the casing around it only slightly cracked.

“Whoa,” they said in unison, staring at me.

“Are those horns?”

“What are you?”

“She’s an oni!”

“Why are they keeping her down here?”

I crossed my arms. “Who are you?”

“Oh! Uh!” One of the boys elbowed the other. “I’m Iku, and this is Izi. We’re twins, from the Capitol.”

The Capitol. The place the grown-ups whispered about and hid their precious belongings from. The reason I used to be told why I was kept in the cellar, before I hit Hana.

Blunt as ever, especially as a child, I wrinkled my nose. “The Capitol? Your names are pretty plain for being somewhere so fancy.”

“You’re an oni!” the boy called Izi said, throwing his hands in the air. “We can’t tell you our full names!”

“Then you’ll have power over us,” his brother added. 

I frowned. “I’ve never heard that.”

“You live in a cellar. You probably haven’t heard of much of anything.”

I scritched one of my horns. “I guess you’re right…”

“Can you even read?”

Izi elbowed his brother. “Dummy, she’s a _girl_.”

“Some girls can read!”

“Not lowlives and probably not oni!”

“No,” I said, ignoring the banter. “I don’t think anyone but the man of the house knows how, but he hates me. He wouldn’t teach me if I asked.”

“That kinda sucks,” Iku said. “Stories are such wonderful things. If you want, I could bring you books and teach you how to read!”

“You’re such an _idiot_ ,” Izi complained. “You can’t just teach an oni girl how to read! She’s obviously being kept down here for a reason!”

“I don’t care! I don’t think she wants to be down here! Do you?”

The brothers looked at me expectantly. 

“No,” I said. “I wanna see the world.” I sank to my knees, hugging my doll close. 

The boys followed.

“Are you okay?” Izi asked.

Instantly, everything I had been holding in spilled from my lips. My worries about Hana, who desperately didn’t want to be my mother but also wanted to keep me alive. My disdain from Hana’s family and the village as a whole. How I had gotten so used to being hungry that I hardly felt it anymore. I was so surprised that anyone cared what I thought about anything that I broke down and cried. I couldn’t see with the tears clouding my vision, but I felt the arms of the boys around me.

“Don’t worry. We’re staying around here and have plenty of books and things to bring you. We’ll help you.”

“I guess you’re really not that bad, after all,” one of the brothers finished, petting my hair.

I was so moved, I wasn’t sure I would ever stop crying. Tears fell from my eyes until I couldn’t see or feel anything anymore.

And when I woke up, the boys were gone.

They came back, of course. Every day, while the adults were gone dealing with “payments” and “taxes,” words my childhood self couldn’t care less about, the boys came down to my cellar, bringing down lanterns, scrolls, and books.

In this era, there were two writing systems used by the Court; “women’s script,” which is like the modern kana, and “man’s script,” which was essentially the Chinese way of writing. The boys, being boys, were learning “man’s script,” and they taught me what they knew of that on top of the “women’s script” of their childhood.

“It’s not like you’re a real woman,” Izi said to me. “You’re an oni. I don’t think you gotta live like a regular woman.”

“Besides,” Iku added, “I’m sure you’ll be pretty far away from us humans once you’re a grownup.”

“Then we’ll get to fight! We’re gonna be samurai someday.”

Iku fistbumped is brother. “We’re already in training.”

I furrowed my brows. “What does that have to do with me?”

“Samurai banish your kind. It’s something we do. Keep the humans safe, since your people are brutal.”

“And evil! Don’t forget evil.”

“Yeah, that too, but you’re an exception, ‘course. Probably the only nice oni.”

“For now!” Iku laughed. “But yeah, once we’re all grownups, we’ll have to fight.” Iku’s expression sank, as though this wasn’t something he particularly wanted.

I decided not to pry as something inside me stirred. “Why can’t we fight now?””

The boys exchanged looks. “Where would we fight?”

“At night, if you can break me out of here, we can try to explore around the area.”

“Wait.” Izi tapped his chin. “You mean you haven’t seen outside of the cellar?”

“Not much. Not in a long time.”

“How long have you been down here?”

I shrugged and continued practicing my kana. 

“Tonight,” Izi decided. “Tonight, we’ll get you out of here. And we’ll fight with you.”

 


	3. Of Tears and Taxation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I tell the tale of how I was betrayed by my own "family."

 

 

Tonight did happen, as did many nights afterward.

Wherever in the village the boys were staying--in hindsight, I should’ve asked them more questions, but I was only six and very naive--they had play weapons, short swords and long swords alike.

With all my lessons with the boys, I picked up on reading rather quickly, but fighting I grasped far quicker than anything I had learned. Within only nights, I could easily knock the battle-born children down, holding them down by the “point” of the “blade.”

There was no blade, of course. This was only play-fighting, and the weapons were made of wood. But I couldn’t help but wonder what I would be capable of with a _real_ blade…

The boys didn’t seem so keen on fighting me after a while, especially Iku. One evening, after a hard “battle” between the “blades” and fists of children, Iku sat on the branch of one of the elder trees, legs dangling until his geta slipped off. 

“I don’t think I’m suited for this samurai business,” Iku said sadly.

His brother climbed after him and put an arm around him. “It’s what all our brothers’ve done, Iku-kun! Why wouldn’t you?”

“She’s a _person_ , Izi!” he protested. “Just cos she’s funny looking doesn’t make her any different than you or me!”

“It’s not like we have a choice,” Izi grumbled. “We’re from a family of samurai. We’re made to kill things like her.”

“Things? Miaka ain’t a thing! She’s a person! She seems more human than you!”

I sniffed, rubbing my nose on my sleeve. “After playing with me, you still want to kill me?”

Izi gave me a cold, hard stare. “I think we shouldn’t play anymore. You’re making my brother soft. And we’re not supposed to like you. C’mon, Iku. Let’s go home.”

And hand in hand, they left me crying in the woods.

\--

Things were quiet until my seventh birthday.

Life went the way it had before, with me hiding out in the cellar, playing with my falling-apart doll, and eating my daily rice when I was allowed it. I snuck out whenever I could, while the humans slept. At first, it wasn’t as fun without my old friends, but I found new friends.

I found I could speak to the trees themselves.

They spoke a funny language, one that I could hear within my heart. It was easier to speak than Japanese, the language of the humans. 

“ _Qiila_ _yamata_ ,” they would call me. _Daughter of the mountain_. I wasn’t sure what it meant, at the time. Hana told me that she found me as a baby on the base of Ibukiyama, one of the mountains near here, so I assumed it just meant that.

Oh, how naive I was.

But I digress.

Other times, the souls of nature called me _Ibuki-xa._ Sister Ibuki. I didn’t really understand the meaning behind that one, either, nor did I get its implication. But it made me feel warm inside, loved in a way I hadn’t felt by my foster parents.

The more time went on, the more I sought the attention of nature itself and began to shy away from humans. I became bolder, sneaking out during the day to climb the trees, eating the peaches they provided and trapping and hunting small animals. 

I was alone, but I wasn’t isolated.

The earth cared for me more than anyone.

But if there was any consistency in my life, it was the fact that nothing stayed peaceful for long, and once my seventh birthday rolled around, anything I had resembling a life fell apart.

I was awoken early in the morning; there wasn’t much light in the cellar, but with the way the sun streamed through the trapdoor, how the birds chirped, and how the wind and trees wished me a good morning, I knew that the world was just beginning to awaken. 

Hana fed me, which was unusual, as she normally gave me my daily rice at night. She did my hair as I ate, much more carefully than before; instead of raking the brush through my matted hair, she caressed it.

She was also crying, and as an empathetic creature, I reached for her hands.

Instantly, she jumped back. “Did I hurt you?”

It was then I realized she wasn’t being gentle because she loved me.

She was being gentle because she was afraid of me.

“No,” I replied, voice shaking a little. “I was just wondering...if you’re okay.”

“My family is in a bad way,” she said softly, tying my now-smoother hair into a knot on the back of my head. “We need money fast, or the government will take our crops and house. So we’re gonna go make money today.”

“How’re we doing that?” Even though I know Hana called the family _hers_ rather than _ours_ , I was happy to help. 

They would be my family even if they didn’t want to be.

“We’re going to be riding into the market. Selling some...things.”

The market! My heart hammered with excitement. I had heard mysterious, wonderous things about the market; of fruits from faraway lands, of forbidden drinks for children my age, of fabric softer than the mind could imagine. From what my old friends had told me, it sounded like paradise, and I had always wanted to go, especially since I was trapped in the cellar and in the small rice farm village. 

“Can I come, too?”

“Of course,” she sniffed. “We’ll need your help.”

My help, even! I beamed as she finished my hair, tying a few flowers in the knots.

“We’ll need you on your best behavior,” she said then, taking my bowl of rice from me. “No funny business. No crying. No fighting.”

I nodded. “I’ll be good.”

She sighed. “I’m gonna give you my daughter’s best robes. You need to look your best ”

Her daughter. Not my sister.

“Why am I getting dressed up?”

“We can’t have you looking like a slob at the market. You’re already...different enough.”

I touched my horns defensively and frowned, following her up the ladder to the house above. 

When I had snuck out, I always used a tight crawlspace underground, in the cellar, digging past dirt to get out. I hadn’t seen the rest of the house in what felt like ages. It was so much bigger than the cellar I had lived in, and in front of the _shouji_ leading outside was an oxcart full of supplies.

“Is that what you’re selling?” I asked Hana as she dressed me.

“More or less,” she said softly.

At the time, I thought I had it figured out. “You need my help ‘cause I’m strong, right? Those crates and barrels look heavy!”

She fell to her knees and cried without giving me a response.

Still not understanding why she was so upset, I gave her a hug, but instantly felt the giant hand of her husband on my frail shoulder.

“Leave her be. Wait in the cart.”

I sighed, slouched, and headed outside. It was hot, too hot to be comfortable, and I shifted around in my foster sister’s clothes. Finding a cozy spot beside the crates of supplies, I waited for Hana and her husband to come outside and begin our journey. It took a long time, so I bid farewell to the nature around me.

“I’ll be back,” I said to the trees. “I promise.”

“ _Oni cannot break their promises,_ ” the leaves whispered back in the language of my heart. We look forward to your return, _qiila yamata_.”

“So do I,” I replied.

It sounded as though the trees were laughing. “You’re a good representative of your kind, _qiila yamata._ We’re honored to be your friends, Ibuki.”

Ibuki. The name of the mountain closest to us. The name of the mountain Hana had found me on as an infant, seven years ago. And the mountain the trees called me the child of.

I hugged my knees, my childlike brain wondering what all this meant, but before I could come to anything resembling a conclusion, Hana and her husband had returned.

“It’s for the best,” her husband was saying. “You’ve gotten too soft for it.”

I wasn’t sure what he was talking about, and I remained excited for the ride to the market.

\--

The market was the most beautiful place I could’ve imagined, but in hindsight, one of the most terrifying. It was full of people of all sorts, with the music of many languages throughout the crowded dirt roads.The scents of spices, citrus, wood shavings, and incense filled my nostrils, and my stomach rumbled.

“This is the most amazing place!” I said to Hana.

She gave a halfhearted smile.

She and her husband set up a little booth beside their oxcart and put out rice to sell from the crates. I offered to help, but her husband shoved me aside.

“Just stand there and look cute,” he snarled. “Trust me, you’ve done enough already.”

I didn’t say anything. If I learned anything from my life with them, it was that the cute children didn’t talk as much as I did. 

The day went on. I sweated beneath the thickness of my foster sister’s clothes.

“Are you sure he received your letter?” I overheard Hana’s husband whisper to her.

“He responded and said he’d be here at dusk to receive it.”

I wondered if Hana had smuggled something neat under all the rice in the crates.

“What is it?” I asked, tugging on her sleeve.

Her husband shoved me aside. “I told you to behave!”

“But I was just--”

“Do you happen to be the Nakamura family? The one I wrote to? With the girl?”

Hana, her husband, and I looked up. 

A well-dressed man in golden-colored silks approached the stall, holding what appeared to be a letter.

“You must be Hayato,” Hana’s husband said with a bow. 

“That is what I’m called,” he said, a polite nod in return. 

They then continued to speak in a very different tone and tongue, one I had been learning from Izi and Iku. They talked rather hushed and Hana wouldn’t stop crying, so I could only hear a few broken phrases.

“The oni girl…”

“Our situation…”

“Taxes…”

“We’d lose everything…”

“The money?”

“Yes, here…”

“Let me see her,” I finally fully understood clearly from the man called Hayato. He stepped over to me. “She’s awfully thin. Do you feed her?”

“Rice, once a day,” Hana said softly with a hiccup.

He tutted. “I’m sure she’ll develop more with a bit of fat on her, but our clients love small girls anyway. And how ironic would it be to see a frail oni? They’d love to dominate one.”

My stomach churned. Hayato gave me an ugly gut feeling, but I wasn’t sure exactly what it was. I hadn’t felt it from a person before.

“You described her well,” Hayato was saying as he turned my head from side to side. “Exactly as I pictured. I’ll take her.” And Hayato handed the Nakamuras a pouch full of coins with one hand and took my hand with his other.

“Wait, what is happening?” I asked. I was so confused. Hayato’s hand was as slimy as his voice, and I tried to pull away.

Hana and her husband counted out the money on the table.

“This should me more than enough,” the husband remarked.

“We’ll be safe,” Hana said softly, touching the rim of one of the coins.

They bowed their thanks, and began packing up the stall. 

“It’s time to go, girl,” Hayato was saying, tugging on my arm.

I stood my ground. “That’s my family!”

“We’re not your family,” Hana’s husband piped up quietly, putting his belongings in the back of the ox cart. 

“I’m your family now,” he said in my ear, crouching to my level. “Don’t you understand? I helped save their little farm, and now I get you.”

I tried to squirm away, but he held tight on my wrist. I did all I could. I kicked and screamed. I tried the fighting techniques that Izi and Iku used on each other. The humans in the market began to stare.

“ _LET ME GO_!” I screamed. And with that, I felt something inside me snap. My skin burned, like the liquid in a lamp pouring over me. My heart pounded in my ears. When I looked down at myself, I saw that my skin was as red as my hair, and just as wild-looking.

“ _LET ME GO_!” I repeated. My voice sounded strange, almost as though there were three of me screaming at once, one with a higher pitch, one with a lower pitch. It startled me, but not as much as Hayato taking me away from everything I knew.

So I shoved him.

Right there, right into the market stalls. 

Humans gasped and began to crowd around us. I ignored them and instead pounced on Hayato, beating him with reckless abandon. His nose bleed, the rings around his eyes turned purple, but he didn’t yield.

“You should’ve warned me she was so fiesty!” he laughed to the Nakamuras.

This only made me angrier. I felt his nose snap beneath my fists, and then something cold on my neck.

I froze. I remembered this feeling from sparring with Izi and Iku, only their practice blades were made of wood, not steel.

It was the sensation of loss, of defeat, of death in the real world.

“Let him go or I’ll take your life, _akai oni_.”

_Akai oni_. Red oni.

The humans around us were screaming the same thing, running from the crowd. 

“We need to escape!”

“There’s an oni here!”

But the loudest voice was Hayato. “You’ll leave my whore alone!” Hayato shouted, pushing my shocked self aside and unsheathing his own weapon. In a flurry of motion faster than any “battle” I had with Izi and Iku, the mysterious human who held his weapon to my throat lied bleeding in the road.

Hayato flicked his blade, spraying the blood of the man on my face before sheathing it and slinging me over his shoulder like a sack of rice.

Like an _object_.

It all made sense now.

The rice was a ruse. 

The Nakamuras were selling _me._  

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Of Face Paint and Fury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I find myself in the worst situation a child could be in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My twitter followers voted to publicize this work, especially now that I've got a following of people who like monsters, so enjoy my retelling of my past life as a monster! [Get up to date on chapters!](https://shutendoujiwriting.carrd.co/#liberator)
> 
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At first, all I saw was darkness.

The man knocked me out, I figured, because I didn’t recall my transport from the market to his home. 

All I remembered was waking up in a large, open room, with no windows, just dim candles and the clouds of incense. 

The whole place smelled odd, nothing like anything resembling the “comfort” of home...if I could even call it that. Despite the candles, the  _ irori _ boiling something in a pot and attempting to keep the room warm, and the heavy blankets over me, I was shivering.

I thought about exploring the rest of the room, maybe figuring out where I was and an escape plan, but instead, I just went back to sleep, burrowing deep under my blankets, making a tunnel in my futon. 

I was, however, awoken rather abruptly. I had probably been under there for hours, for the iori had gone dim and the candles had melted.

“Get up,  _ akai oni _ .”

There it was again. Red oni. Spoken like an insult.

“I’m tired,” I replied with a yawn.

“There’s much work to be done. Did you think this was a vacation from your miserable farm?” 

One of the speakers yanked the fluffy blankets off of my cozy body and I sat up, shivering.

I wasn’t wearing anything. My skin was pale, shivering, and covered in bruises. Something under there just seemed...wrong, though I couldn’t place what it was. I was extremely sore in places I hadn’t been sore before, and when I sat up, my head spun.

The women who were speaking to me and waking me up rather rudely murmured something to each other in a speech I didn’t understand. Perhaps they were wealthy. They did wear a lot of makeup, after all. 

“He already got to her,” one of them said, a bit louder so I could understand. Or perhaps it was a coincidence. “I was hoping she was still innocent.”

“If we’re lucky, she doesn’t remember.”

“Where am I?” I asked.

The women looked at me, frowning.

“You do realize that you work for Hayato-sama now, right?”

“Hayato-sama?” I asked. “The man who took me?”

One of the ladies left the room, making a strange gasping sound. Was she crying?

“Yes,” the remaining woman replied. “He’s our master. And you’re the newest edition to the House.” She said house as though it were something important, with emphasis. “And he’s...entrusted me to get you ready for your work tonight.”

“What kind of work do I need to do?” I asked as she helped me up.

She didn’t say anything, just raked a brush through my hair. I noticed she paused occasionally to shake out the brush. Locks of wavy red hair were falling out of my head, which wasn’t something I had seen before.

The other woman had returned, dabbing under her eyes daintily with a finger and carrying containers of rather colorful paints in her remaining hand.

“She’s...pretty, for an oni,” the woman murmured as she kneeled before me. “Hayato-sama made it sound like he was bringing a monster in, not a child. A beautiful child.”

“Saya,” the other woman said in a warning tone. “All we need to do is get her ready. She isn’t our business.” To me, the woman said, “Come over here so we can bathe you.”

I followed them to a curtained off area and allowed them to wash me, wincing at the cold water hitting my scrapes. 

“Do you not have a soul?” Saya asked as she poured strange soaps from other containers onto her hands. “She’s not human, but she’s still a  _ child _ . She doesn’t even know what the hell is going on!”

“What  _ is _ going on?” I asked, shifting onto the sides of my feet as they washed me.

Saya was washing between my legs at this point, and she pulled back her hand and the cleaning cloth in horror. It was covered in red.

Blood.

“I can’t do this,” she said. “I can’t get a  _ child _ ready like this.”

“Control yourself, Saya! It’s not like you getting upset is going to help her any! Stay calm and finish the job. Maybe he’ll let you off early.”

“I doubt it,” she grumbled. The area she was washing stung, and I winced, but didn’t cry. I didn’t want to make her sadder.

Eventually, a very confused me was bathed by these strange and colorful women. They tied my hair up the fanciest it had ever been, with pins and flowers and all sorts of strange ornaments. Saya even tied one to my left horn.

They did my makeup, then, and it was hard to stay still, to close my eyes at the right times, to not sneeze at the powder they put on my face. Eventually, they finished, and dressed me in the most revealing clothing I had ever seen. It was colorful and youthful, but exposed my shoulders and wouldn’t stay above my chest no matter how I adjusted the obi. It was hard to move, with all the layers, yet it didn’t shield me from the cold of the room, either. 

It was awful, but nothing compared to what my work was, as I was about to find out.

The ladies left, Saya in tears again, and soon, Hayato himself came in.

“You look better than you did when I first saw you.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing, toeing the ground with my socks.

“Have you figured out what your darling parents have done with you yet,  _ akai oni _ ?”

I shook my head.

He stepped closer, brushing a stray red hair out of my eyes. “You’re my little sex oni now. Do you have any idea what a commodity you are? Humans will be begging to fuck someone as young as fresh as you, and not to mention, an  _ oni _ ? My business will be booming.”

I didn’t really understand, but my heart was racing. “What am I...supposed to do with the humans?”

He gave me a broad grin. “You’ll see soon enough,  _ akai oni _ . Your first client will be here soon. You will treat him well.”

It didn’t sound like a suggestion, but more like a threat.

Immediately, I did feel the threat the words wounded within me, for he pulled me up by the waist, letting my legs dangle beneath me, and forced a kiss on my lips. It was disgusting, tasting of a strange musk and flowers my childlike self didn’t want any part of. I squirmed away, but he pushed me against the wall, forcing his hands on places I had never been touched so roughly on before.

I let out a cry, and he stopped.

“I hear your client. Guess I should save you for him, hmm?”

He let me down, and I sank to my knees as he left to greet the client.

For a while, I just sat in silence.

Saya came back in, fussed over my hair, repainted my eyebrows, and restarted the fire in the irori before heading back upstairs.

But she paused in the threshold. “If you need anything, come find me, okay?”

I nodded with an affirmative “Hmm!”

“Your name is...Ibuki, right?”

I nodded.

“Do you have a first name?”

“Miaka.”

She smiled. “Miaka-chan. I’ll see you at dinner.”

And she slid the door shut.

After she departed, I gave my strange, drapey clothes a sniff. 

They smelled like Saya.

Had she given me her hand-me-downs? I found this to be awfully nice of her, despite how scared I was.

The smacking sound, a shout, and the door sliding open only aided my fears.

“Here she is,” Hayato said proudly. “Akai oni.”

\--

My modern, adult voice writing this really doesn’t want to describe what he did to me. It should be obvious, considering what Hayato said to me, but being a child, I still didn’t understand. As I screamed in pain as he tore inside me, I still didn’t understand why I was being hurt from the inside out.

It was my most horrifying experience at such a young age.

And it happened again.

And again.

And again.

Different men most times. The first client came back repeatedly, drinking as he assaulted me. Eventually, I got violent and resisted, so Hayato chained me to the wall to make me behave. This only made it more painful, so I became more compliant, and he became more lenient with me.

If I did well with clients--touching them, pleasing them, serving them drinks, laughing at their jokes, faking sounds I heard from other women--then my reward was a second helping at dinner and some time outside. But if I cried, complained, or struggled, my punishment was  _ him _ . And I never wanted to have him tear me inside out again.

The first time that Saya and the other assistant implied wasn’t something I remembered, for I was unconscious. The second time was after the first client left, and at that point, I felt as though my insides were made of sandpaper. I figured I would never stop crying, but of course, I eventually did. I was a strong child, after all.

When he was done with me and I was left trying to stay conscious, Saya quietly crept down the stairs and left me two bowls; one of tea, one of rice. It was hard to eat, but out of respect for such a kind woman, I did, and promptly passed out.

\--

With all the pain I had been going through, eventually, I began to feel nothing at all. Externally, anyway. My body became numb to the scrapes, the tears, the constant bleeding, the soreness from sitting. 

But my emotions were something else altogether.

At night, after Hayato’s clients were done with me and I was exhausted, I would cry myself to sleep. Saya sometimes tried to come in and help me, but Hayato grabbed her by the hair and pulled her away from the basement.

In essence, I was alone, scared, numb, sad, and covered in filth constantly.

But this sadness quickly became rage. Rage at how I was treated, at how Saya and the other women were treated. Rage at how I had to muffle the sounds of the screams from upstairs with a pillow over my head, which wasn’t an easy feat with my ever-growing horns.

So my angry self began to come to her.

I would slide through the door and pitter-patter as quietly as I could up the stairs. Often, she was smoking in the main room, sipping something fragrant in between drags. If no one was around, I would lay on her lap, and she would pet my hair and sing me lullabies. Other times, she gave me a tiny bow of acknowledgement, and I disappeared in the shadows.

But the longer I lingered in the shadows, the more I wanted this situation reversed.

I did nothing wrong. I didn’t need to be concealed. But this House sure did.

This place needed to be burned to the ground, and Hayato spirited away with all the memories of it.


	5. Of Markets and Murder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything escalates.
> 
> I'm having a commission sale that's Deltarune/Undertale-centric! [More info here!](https://shutendoujiwriting.carrd.co/#sale) [Email to get a spot!](mailto:shutendoujiwriting@gmail.com)
> 
>  
> 
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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/theshutendouji/) followers voted that yes, they would love to have a cover contest for Akai Oni: Liberator! I have a link [here](https://shutendoujiwriting.carrd.co/#aolcontest) regarding stipulations but essentially:  
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After what felt like an endless stream of the strangest torture possible with days and nights that blended together, Hayato brought me to the market. 

I remembered wanting to go to the market so badly, just months ago, but that desire was replaced with fear. I was terrified of who I will meet, especially since this wasn’t a familiar market. This wasn’t where Hayato had purchased me, but one where he gained the most sales.

“The best of the best go to this market,” Saya told me as she tied up my hair. “Some of the oldest women Hayato owns. You’re...special, since you’re the only non-human girl he has. He’s thinking he can make a profit off of you.”

I didn’t say anything. I hadn’t said a whole lot lately. My mouth always felt dry, lips cracking, despite the summer heat. I hated being dressed up for these scary men, being pushed around by Hayato.

But it wasn’t like I had a choice.

It took much longer to get to the market than I had imagined. I was expected to sleep in my uncomfortable, slipping clothes and makeup when we made a rest stop to a  _ shukuba-eki _ . 

“A town away from towns,” Saya had explained to me, as I had never seen one before.

There, Hayato bought us rather nice food, delicacies I had never seen or tasted before, but I had the sense it was so he could flaunt his wealth to the others at the shukuba-eki. I was starving anyway, so I didn’t mind. I was glad that he was being nice to me at all.

The women and Hayato shared drinks, but all I wanted to do was sleep, though it was difficult with all the shouts and uncomfortable clothes. After what felt like ages, we had left to the roads again. My face paint was beginning to peel and itch, so Saya touched it up the best she could with the bumps of the dirt roads. 

Someone in the  _ gyusha _ \--the caravan we rode--gasped and gestured outside. “Look how big it is!”

To call it a market was a gross understatement. There were so many people and faces, all staring as we passed through. A few bowed.

I bowed back.

Someone screamed and ran away.

“Guess they’re not the right client for you, eh?” Hayato said to me with a sneer.

I shivered.

When we got to our stop, we all got out, and though it was hot inside the gyusha, it was worse outside. The sheer mugginess of the air clung to my skin like a sticky blanket, smothering my breath. It was as though the town was under water, all its inhabitants slowly drowning.

The other ladies and I stood around as Hayato and his men set up the market stall. People pushed by and chatted amongst themselves, stopping to stare at our group occasionally.

The market was divided in half with how people felt about me. At first, it was nothing but negativity.

“Is that a  _ real _ oni?”

“She’s smaller than I thought they’d be. Are they all that small?”

“Disgusting.”

“Why hasn’t anyone killed that thing yet?”

Part of me agreed with these people. I would’ve rather been dead than go through what I did.

Unfortunately for me, no one came to do me in. Instead, they began to ask more questions.

“Are these real?” one man asked, tapping my horns.

I winced but didn’t speak. My throat still hurt. My throat  _ always _ hurt.

“Yes,” Hayato said for me. “Everything you see here is real and ready for the taking.”

They talked prices after that. Hayato wrote some notes down. I tried to focus on my breathing. 

Now that one man was interested, feeling me up to get an idea what he was signing up for (“She’s not very developed yet, but wow, she’ll be quite the woman someday, if you groom her right!”), more men came, giving down payments to Hayato and signing more papers.

“You’re gonna have a busy night tonight,” Hayato hissed in my ear.

I wished the humidity would drown me.

Unfortunately, it didn’t. And I did have a busy night.

Man after man, waiting outside the curtained-off area in the lodge we were staying in. I was bleeding so much I was worried I’d bleed out. The heat, the sweat and slime from the men, and the blood on me was all too much.

“You’ll never get another opportunity like this,” one man said to another on the other side of the curtain. “You’ll never be able to dominate an absolute fucking monster again.”

When the curtain slid back, I noticed that he was the last man. Finally, I would get to rest.

He was very occupied with my body, and I was trying to look at anything but him. He smelled of alcohol and the metallic tang of my own blood. Just when I was about to close my eyes and focus on exiting my own body, I noticed something on his pants.

A sheath holding a  _ tantou. _

I got an idea, then. A wild, dangerous idea.

“Lay back,” I said, my throat scratchy, as I hadn’t spoken in days, weeks even.

“Oh...okay.” He rolled onto his back, and I did what I had seen Saya do to other men, behind the shouji. I took part of him in my mouth, trying not to recoil at the taste and size. As he got lost in the sensation, I took the tantou from the sheath and tucked it in the fabric of my own clothes, safe and hidden.

As I finished up with him, feeling safer with the tantou with me, I remembered what Izi and Iku taught me about fighting, but somehow, I didn’t feel like they were right. I didn’t think the real world works the way they thought it did.  The world was never full of good humans and bad monsters. 

The real monsters have always looked very human, and the ones who were hurting looked like me. 

\--

The next morning, after Hayato collected all the payments from all the women, we headed back to the House. The journey back home--if I could even call it that, really--felt as though it took even longer than before. I spent most of the time napping on Saya as she whispered lullabies in my ear, stroking my hair by the base of my horns where their growth hurt.

Or where men had grabbed them a bit too rough.

We stayed at the same shukuba-eki as last time, and I passed out the minute I was given a futon, even though I had been dozing off the entire journey. Something in me just...didn’t feel right. 

Most of me didn’t feel right.

It started raining when we left the shukuba-eki, and with how humid it was, the rain added to the difficulty breathing everyone had. Despite the cover in the gyusha, the moisture clung to clothes, suffocating us in every way imaginable.

I was grateful to be back at “home”...for a while.

\--

It started with a scream. 

I was with a client, days--weeks? It wasn’t like time existed in the House--after we had returned from the market, and I heard a bloodcurdling scream from upstairs.

The man stopped touching me. “What was that?”

I shook my head. 

He withdrew and grabbed his belongings. “I wanna make sure everything is okay.”

At first, before I knew what was really going on, I was grateful. I didn’t want to be touched anymore. I burrowed in my blankets, shivering as I always did when the men touched me. Something in the house smelled strange, but I couldn’t place it.

After laying still for a while, I noticed the man hadn’t returned, and there was sobbing coming from upstairs. I took my stolen tantou, slipped it in my sleeve, and crept upstairs.

One of Hayato’s ladies was dead.

It wasn’t Saya, but at first, the person looked so similar to her that I was worried it was. No, it was the woman who used to reprimand Saya and me, the one who treated me like a job instead of a child.

I remember the first time I saw someone die, I was too confused by everything to really understand what happened. But this time, I got to see her body very clearly, and I could never wipe the image out of my brain.

She was laying face-down on the floor, her blood spilling all over the rugs. It was weird to see her lying so still. Usually, she was moving quickly to slap me in the face for crying and ruining the paint on my face. 

Saya, gasping and crying, flipped her over, blood trickling over the mats.

Her eyes were frozen open, as if she saw something scary. Saya tried to slide them closed with her shaking hands, but they slid back open.

I covered my mouth to muffle my cries.

It was then Saya noticed me. Her eyes widened. “Miaka-chan,” she said softly. “Please go back to your room. Don’t let Hayato see you.”

I blinked away my tears and started to back away when I walked into someone.

Naturally, it was Hayato.

He grabbed me by the hair and threw down the stairs into the basement.

“Be a good monster and stay where you’re supposed to be!” he shouted at me at the steps above. 

I picked my body up, shaking and wiping the blood off of my arms from catching my fall.

After he slid the door shut and his steps disappeared, I crept up the stairs to listen.

“You’ll do me good,” Hayato was saying to someone. “You’ll do what I ask you, or you’ll end up like your sister.”

“Please,” a voice pleaded. It was Saya. I hadn’t realized Saya and that woman were sisters. “Please don’t hurt me!”

“I won’t hurt you if you do what I say. My women are supposed to pleasure me, not try to run away. Real women are obedient.” I heard a slap, and the gasp of a cry. “Because your sister decided to rebel, now you’ll pay.”

I heard familiar screams and grunts from upstairs, and I retreated to my futon, blocking out the sounds with my pillow. I didn’t care for the woman who died, but it still hurt me to see her dead.

So that night, and many nights that followed, I stayed in hiding in the basement. No one came to get me, feed me, or send clients to me. And in my solitude, I began plotting more of my revenge.

For the dead woman, murdered for escaping Hayato’s abuse.

For Saya, for her violent rape.

For every other woman in the House.

For me.


	6. Of Akiko and Aira

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I make a potential friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having a commission sale that's Deltarune/Undertale-centric! [More info here!](https://shutendoujiwriting.carrd.co/#sale) [Email to get a spot!](mailto:shutendoujiwriting@gmail.com)
> 
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My solitude did not last forever, though as a child, it felt like it would. Even though I was starving and so dehydrated my lips were cracked and bleeding, I much preferred loneliness to the attention Hayato would give me. It was never comfortable nor pleasant, after all.

But one day, when I was in and out of starving sleep, I heard someone open the door. I didn’t have the energy to turn and see who it was originally, but I smelled freshly-steamed rice.

“Saya-sama sent me,” a soft voice said. I felt the girl sit beside me on the futon, petting my side. “She said she wasn’t allowed to see you, but she made you some food. She heard that Hayato-sama was starving you out.” There was silence for a moment, and then, “Are you alive?”

I turned slowly. I was dizzy and couldn’t focus on the girl’s face. My eyes staggered on the sight of the bowl of rice. 

The girl put the chopsticks full of rice in my mouth. “Eat. There’s water, too.” And she gave me a gourd. “I stole this from one of the other ladies for you.”

I reached for it and began to inhale the water as fast as I could, earning a hand pat from the girl. 

“Slow down! You’ll make yourself sick! Just take sips!”

My stomach was already beginning to churn, but now that I had some moisture in my mouth, I managed to thank her and ask for her name.

“I’m Akiko. Your name is Miaka, right?”

I nodded and sat up, taking the bowl of rice from Akiko. “How long have you been here?”

“My whole life. My older sister and I were born here. Hayato-sama didn’t make me start working til a year ago, though. I was nine, my sister was twelve. There wasn’t a demand for girls younger than me back then but...I guess that’s changed.” She eyed me. “How old are you?”

I swallowed. “Eight. Does your mother still live and work here?”

She shook her head. “She died. She got really sick after a client last year. That was when Hayato-sama made my sister and I work.”

My eyes went wide. “I’m so sorry.”

She shrugged. “It’s okay. People get sick and die here all the time. Like the woman the other week…”

“She wasn’t sick, was she? It sounded like Hayato just killed her.”

She frowned. “He told me she got sick.”

I shook my head. “He murdered her.”

Akiko went pale and stared at my now-empty bowl of rice. “I wonder if that’s really what happens to the women.” She hugged her knees, resting her chin on them. “I hope I’m not next.”

I felt around under my futon and grabbed the tantou I had stolen. “I’m an oni and I’m strong. If I eat more, I’ll probably be able to defend myself. But I think you need this.”

She toyed with the tantou, examining the sharp blade. “Where did you get this?”

“I stole it from a client. But I’d rather it keep you safe than me.” 

“Wow.” She tossed it around in her hand more. “Thank you.” After a moment, she added, “I don’t know why the men are calling you a monster. You’re really nice,” she said to me.

“Because I look different,” I replied. “My hair’s not dark, and I’ve got these,” I pointed to my head, “and these,” I gestured toward my teeth.

Akiko then politely reminded me that it’s rude to point.

I ignored her, and the changed the subject to exploring the grounds and playing together.

“I’d love to! Once you get your energy back up. Let’s find you some more food and play!” She squeezed my hand. “It’s nice having a friend for once…”

\--

Akiko and I were inseparable after that day, sneaking around the house, playing with miscellaneous dolls, making crafts, protecting each other from creepy men the best we could. Eventually, months later, we seized an opportunity to go outside. I remember when I first saw the outside, I thought the House looked like it had layers, like the temple near where I used to live. There were stairs dividing the different sections, with the human ladies all living on the second floor, and Hayato taking up the entire third floor with his wife and kids.

“I didn’t know he had kids!” I said to Akiko when she told me.

“That’s what he says. I don’t remember ever seeing them.” She hid her hands in her sleeves and shivered. “He claims that they’re learning to be warriors at the Capitol, so they don’t live here.” She thought for a moment, putting a sleeve-covered hand to her chin. “Y’know...I haven’t seen his wife either. I wonder if he really has one.”

“If you’re the kind of person to buy and sell girls, I don’t think you would.”

Akiko shrugged. “Isn’t that what happens to all of us, one way or another? Sold to a business like this, or sold to a husband.”

I didn’t have a good reply to that. In my head, I remembered thinking that I would never have a husband, nor would I be sold into a marriage. But I also wasn’t sure if that would be better or worse than what I was going through.

Akiko then showed me her room, changing the subject, which I was grateful for. She shared this room with the older sister she had mentioned, Aira. She was in the room when we walked in, and I noticed that she looked much older than Akiko; those three years appeared to truly make a difference. She had curves, sharper features on her face, and a smirk that made my heart flutter.

“Hayato-sama loves that I have an older sister. Sometimes,” Akiko told me, leaning close and whispering, “to make more money, the men make me  _ touch _ my sister! It’s disgusting!” She stuck her tongue out. 

“I wouldn’t mind touching Aira for free,” I said softly, eyeing where the fabric of her kimono strained on her curves.

Akiko made a face. “Ew.”

“But maybe it’s different if she’s your sister. I wouldn’t know. I don’t have a sister. At least...not really.”

Akiko tried to pry for more details into the “not really” of my statement, but it made me sad, so I didn’t say anything more. Instead, I listened to how Aira wanted to become a formal geisha, once Akiko was old enough to escape with her.

“If I want to make money pleasing men,” Aira told us as she braided Akiko’s hair, “then I want to make it an art. I don’t like feeling so disgusting.”

“It’s partially disgusting because you don’t get the money,” I added. “Don’t you keep some if you’re a geisha?”

Aira snorted. “More than nothing, anyway. But at least my sister and I can dream of leaving. You’re not human, so you’re stuck here forever.”

I shrugged. “Then I’ll kill him and escape.”

Aira froze. “Kill who?”

“Hayato, duh.”

She stared at me, eyes wide. “Then he’s right. You really are a monster.”

\--

Months passed after that day in Akiko and Aira’s room. Winter had faded into spring, which brought more customers and less time with the sisters. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Aira said, about me being a monster. How was it monstrous to want to kill someone who hurts people? Isn’t that what Izi and Iku wanted to do, to get rid of the bad people in the world? Since he was causing women pain, then how was he a good person who deserves to live? I didn’t understand, and as an adult now, all these years later, I still don’t.

But in my mind, I had it settled. I’d kill Hayato and all the men who work for him. And if Akiko wanted to come with me, then she could. Hell, Aira could come too, if she wanted to become a geisha so badly. We all could, together, keeping each other safe. But I knew she probably wouldn’t join us, since she seemed to think killing scum of the earth like Hayato was evil.

_ Humans _ .

If I got to see Akiko again, I planned that I could use the knife to slit their throats. If I ate more, I could probably fight them, too,  if I tapped into my powers as an oni like I did in the market. I was no afraid of what the men have been doing to me. After all, what was the worst that could happen? 

I’d go through it again?

Dead men couldn’t rape.


	7. Of Kappa and Killers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I find the location of a missing person.
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An odd amount of time passed.

I knew it must’ve been a long time, because I was starting to outgrow some of my work outfits, my hair had gotten longer, and I was getting strange spots on my body and face.

I had begun puberty, yet it felt like almost no time had passed at all.

That didn’t mean I wasn’t miserable. 

I hadn’t seen Saya that entire time, but Akiko did begin visiting again after some time. She was now taller than me, her body beginning to develop the curves that I liked with her older sister. 

In our first conversation in a long time, right before I was preparing to leave to the market again with some of Hayato’s new girls, she came to the basement, mikan in hand.

She gave one to me. “I’m sorry.”

I stuck my thumb in it, spraying juice all over my clothes, and began to peel. “About what?”

“About avoiding you.”

I shrugged. “I’m a monster. Everyone either avoids me or abuses me. That’s just the order of things.”

She frowned. Tears balled in her eyes. “Don’t say that, Miaka-chan.”

“Why were you avoiding me?”

Akiko inhaled sharply. “Hayato-sama has been...punishing the women and girls who interact with you. Lashings, forceful affections, starvation...it happened to Saya-san for a while, before…” Her breath caught. “Have you realized that lots of the women and girls Hayato owns have been going missing?”

I shook my head. “I live in the basement. I’m not allowed to leave unless I’m going out with Hayato. I don’t know anything going on outside of here.” I took a bite of mikan. “Men come in for their services, I’m given food by Hayato occasionally, and that’s it.”

Akiko chewed her lip. “Would you like to know what’s going on outside of here?”

I nodded. “Definitely. Just because I can’t leave doesn’t mean I don’t wanna. What’s happening?”

“Well, like I said, women are going missing. Saya went missing last week. Hayato is pretending she never existed, which seems really suspicious to me.” She shivered. “I think he killed her like the other woman.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, but I did cast aside my mikan on the futon, my stomach churning. “He’s killing more?”

“We don’t have any proof, but the women have been whispering about it. Some other girls--new girls, they never met you--tried to escape, and he slit their throats. We think another girl made it out, but obviously, we don’t know. We don’t know where he puts the bodies.”

“Holy shit.” I desperately wished I had something intelligent to say in response. My heart sank into my stomach, churning the acid devouring my organs in starvation.

“The worst part is Aira was talking about escaping, now that she’s old enough to go through geisha training.” She chewed her lip, and blood blossomed on the surface. “I don’t think she’ll make it.”

“Can you talk her out of it?”

Akiko burst into tears, collapsing on me. “No, Miaka. Once Aira has an idea, nothing will change her mind. Not even the concept of death.”

\--

Even though I wanted to help, there was nothing I could do. If I dared to leave the basement, he would turn on me, too, and since I wasn’t human, I made him the most money. The more money I made him, the less demands he made of me and the better food he fed me. And, like Akiko said, the less people interacted with me, the more peaceful the living situation was. I didn’t want people to be punished on account of me.

And if I wanted to adequately investigate what Hayato was doing, I needed to be his “good girl,” even though I hated it. It made me feel sick, acting “happy” to please him, being welcoming to his clientele. It felt almost...dishonest, I would say. But for the safety of myself and others, I would play his game.

For now.

But even with my best of intentions, Aira still refused to see me. It made me feel vile, like the monstrosity she thought I was, especially since I was so worried about her. But Akiko reported back with the latest information she had on the goings-ons with the House and with Aira. 

One night, when she snuck down to the basement with some tea--not the watered-down stuff, but  _ real _ matcha, or at least the most real I ever had at the time--I asked her, “Why have you stopped avoiding me? Are you not afraid of what Hayato will do to you?”

She kneeled in seiza before me and shook her head. “If he does kill me, it’ll be better than being here. Which is why ultimately, Aira decided to leave.”

My heart dropped deep into my stomach. Suddenly, the matcha didn’t seem so appetizing. “Are you leaving, too?”

Akiko shook her head once more. “No. I’m too young and have no desire to continue pleasing men. I wanna keep people safe with you. I want to keep  _ you  _ safe.”

She stayed with me in the basement that night, not returning to rest one final night with her sister. “I don’t want to hold her back,” Akiko explained. “If she’s gonna escape, regardless of consequences, then she’ll do it on her own.”

“You don’t want us to help her?”

“No.” Akiko blinked at me sleepily from the other side of the futon. “I don’t trust her anymore...even though she said, once she makes it, she’ll be sending us money. Money we can use to escape and find our own way. Perhaps we can meet up with her to visit sometime. If she’s not still weird about you.” Akiko rolled onto her back. “That’s another reason why I don’t wanna go with her. She won’t accept you as my friend because you look different, and I don’t think that’s fair of her.”

As awful as I felt for Aira, it gave me some comfort that Akiko chose me, in the end. But as she fell asleep, I couldn’t shake the feeling that choosing me would lead to her demise.

I had no way of knowing that then, but knowing what I do now, I wish I had talked Aira out of leaving and Akiko out of spending time with me. But even an old and tired oni like myself can’t change history, no matter how badly I want to.

\--

Some more weeks passed, and there was no word from Aira. Akiko managed to stay hopeful, but it left an awful taste in my mouth. If Aira did leave, why didn’t she keep her promise of giving us a secret letter? Just how long was this supposed to take?

So I did what any child in this situation would do.

Investigate.

I was a small child, even though, at this point when I was growing faster than ever. I discovered the ways certain floorboards creaked and how to skip them, so I could listen to the drunken conversations Hayato had with his clientele and friends.

At first, I didn’t catch much of anything aside from his regular coercion of activities with uninterested women. But one late night, as I hid in the shadows, I heard a client say something of interest through all the flowery smoke.

“Y’know, I really do miss that girl. What happened to her?”

Hayato laughed and took a drag from his own long pipe. “Which girl? I have many.”

“The dramatic one. Has a little sister.”

“Ohhh, Aira-chan. Yes, she was quite the feisty one. Fun to put down when she tried to escape.”

I covered my mouth to keep from gagging.  _ Put down? _

“How’d you do it?”

Hayato put the pipe to his lips but did not drag. “A man must have his secrets. Just know that she’ll forever be swimming with the kappa she loves so dearly.”

The men’s laughter that followed made my stomach churn.

As they smoked and laughed, I crept up to Aira and Akiko’s room to report what I had found. Akiko was sleeping on her futon, the blankets pushed down by her feet.

I shook her. “He killed her, Akiko. She’s dead.”

She sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes. When she saw it was me waking her, her eyes darted around nervously. “What are you doing up here?”

“I’ve been stalking Hayato. He confessed to his friends that he ‘put her down’ when she ‘tried to escape.’”

Akiko’s face fell. “I knew it.”

“He also said she’s ‘swimming with the kappa she loves so dearly.’ What does that mean?”

Akiko fell back on her futon and groaned. “Aira...always liked to swim. There’s a pond behind the house and before we were forced to work, we’d swim together. One time, he tried to drown her because she wouldn’t sleep with him.”

“I guess he finally succeeded.” It was all I could do to not vomit at that moment. I knew Hayato was disgusting, but I was still reeling at how vile he truly was.

“I want to find out how she died. She knew the kappa. I don’t think they’d help him drown her.”

“There really are kappa in the lake?”

“Of course. I’ve seen em. They’re pretty shy, really, but with you around, I bet we can get some answers. Come on!”

“We can’t be seen, though.”

“You’re not in the basement. We can go through this window.” Slowly, Akiko propped open the window in the far corner. “My sister used to go out here all the time. Come on!”

And I followed her out the window and deep into the woods in search of the kappa pond.

It wasn’t hard to find. After pushing past the thick bamboo, we could see the water glow an eerie honey-yellow. As we walked to the edge of it and peered in, the kappa came to view, their little wrinkly heads slowly raising out of the water. 

“They’re not usually this curious,” Akiko breathed.

Before I could reply, one of the kappa fully raised himself out of the water to talk as the rest dispersed. “A human and an oni,” they said in heavily-gargled Japanese. “What an interesting pair.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, my hands on my hips.

“Humans hate you, you know,” the kappa chuckled. “You’re dangerous. I can feel that you’re dangerous from here. I don’t even want to fight you. The human, though…” The kappa’s voice trailed off as he eyed her.

“Touch her, and I’ll kill you,” I snarled as I felt Akiko stand behind me. “We need information from you.”

“Name your price,” the kappa said, interlacing their webbed fingers. 

“What do you want?” I asked. 

“The girl, obviously.”

I shook my head. “She’s been through enough. We’re looking for her sister.”

The kappa floated on their shelled back, hands behind their head. “The girl or no deal.”

I cracked my knuckles. “You said you didn’t want to fight me, huh?”

“Not really,” they yawned. 

I threw my kimono off my back, leaving it in a pile in the dirt behind me. “Too bad,” I said, wading into the water.

“You’re awfully brave, fighting me in my domain.” But their voice shook with their words.

I remembered an over-the-shoulder flip Izi had taught me, years ago. The first time he did it to me, it knocked the wind out of my lungs. But I was older and smarter now. I reached over to the kappa and flipped them onto the shore, water spilling out of the dish inside their skull.

 

The kappa wheezed, clutching its head, trying to crawl toward the source of their power, but i leaped on top of them, feeling their ribs crack beneath my foot. “Answers. Now.”

“Okay! Okay! Just let me go!”

“If I let you live, will you tell me where she is?”

In the yellow moonlight, I could see the kappa’s lips were drying out, their skin shriveling. They made a dry crying sound.

I tossed them back into the water. For a while, all I saw was a cloud of blood in the yellow pond. But then they emerged, gasping.

And they threw a leg out of the pond.

Akiko screamed, collapsing to her knees. “I recognize that scar!” she sobbed into her sleeves. “That’s Aira’s leg?”

The kappa tilted their head. “Her name was Aira?”

“I’m not fucking around,” I said, crossing my arms. “Did you kill her?”

The kappa’s eyes widened, and they shook their head. “No, of course not! The man in the golden robes did.”

“Hayato,” I hissed through clenched teeth. “Just as he claimed.”

“He dismembered her on the shore,” the kappa said nonchalantly, as though this happened every day, “and threw her remains in here. Of course, we can’t say no to a snack.”

“She was your friend!” Akiko sobbed. “You still ate her?”

The kappa shrugged. “Food is food. She was foolish to trust us, just as you’re foolish to trust  _ that _ .” He gestured with a webbed hand toward me.

I widened my stance as Akiko collapsed in sobs behind me. “If you don’t stop being gross, I’ll fucking kill you.”

The kappa emitted a gurgling laugh. “It’s not me you should be mad at. Kill someone who deserves it,  _ akai oni _ .” 

Before I could say anything in response, the kappa went back underwater.

I held Akiko as she sobbed, clutching her sister’s leg.

Then I heard a crack in the bushes.

I turned, but didn’t see anything. Even with the kappa deep beneath the pond’s surface, we felt completely and utterly alone. But I couldn’t shake the fear within me.

“Let’s head back inside,” I said to Akiko gently, brushing her hair.

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” she asked.

I felt an odd sort of hunger stir in me, almost like it was in my stomach, but lower. It tingled deep inside me, down to my knees. “Sure,” I said, my voice cracking. “And don’t worry, Akiko-chan. I’ll kill him tomorrow night.”


	8. Of Flames and Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I exact justice.
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Something I learned at an unusually young age was that it was one thing to  _ want _ someone dead, but it was something else entirely to end a life. I had promised Akiko that Hayato would be killed by me, but being a barely-adolescent and abused oni girl, it seemed difficult to plan.

There were a lot of factors to consider. Sure, I had an unusual strength for a girl my age, but that could only get me so far, as Hayato was able to pin me down when I struggled against his assaults. Even an oni girl couldn’t match the strength of a determined rapist, I supposed.

“Aira used to have a vial of a sleeping drug she carried around her neck,” Akiko said. “I can try to find it. Maybe if you get him drunk, slip some of it in his sake, you can kill him in his sleep.”

So that night, while Hayato smoked with his disgusting friends, Ayako and I went to the room their shared, in search of the vial. First, though, we decided to give a small prayer for forgiveness for searching her personal belongings. 

“It just doesn’t feel right otherwise,” I said. “I don’t wanna disrespect the dead.”

Akiko nodded, and crouched on the floor. “I promised you that I’d never look at your stuff,” Akiko said with her head bowed to the invisible spirit of Aira. I wasn’t even sure if she was here at all, but it did ease a bit of the anxiety that was nibbling my heart with its tiny teeth. “But this is an emergency. I know you didn’t condone murder in your life, but now, the time has come to kill Hayato, your murderer.”

There was a sort of gust in the room, followed by an odd chill for the summer humidity. In the full moonlight, there was a glint of glass.

“That’s the vial,” Aira said. “It was...there the whole time?”

“I think we would’ve seen it. We come in here all the time.” I picked up the vial. A white liquid swirled within it. “I think the spirit of Aira wants her death avenged.” I put the vial around my neck. “I better head to the basement before Hayato notices I’m gone.”

“I’ll follow you to make sure you get back safely.”

We slipped silently into the shadows of the house, creeping along the walls to stay hidden from the people around the irori. 

Akiko grabbed my arm to keep me still. 

“With the new load of girls, we’ll need more guards,” Hayato said, lighting his pipe. “I hear them walking around at night. We can’t have that.”

“Why not?” one of the men asked.

“Because they’ll get ideas. Ideas of escape. Ideas of murder.” 

I exchanged looks with Akiko. 

He was already onto us.

“In fact...I bet we have some eavesdroppers right now.” Hayato set down his pipe and walked toward us.

I gripped onto Akiko, who winced.

“Aha.” He stood before us, arms crossed. “We have the oni filth and a child. Aren’t you supposed to stay in your basement,  _ akai oni _ ?”

I gritted my teeth.

“Wait, you’re keeping an  _ oni _ in the basement?” one of his companions asked.

Hayato did not reply. “Do I need to chain you up again,  _ akai oni _ ?” He narrowed his eyes at Akiko. “Was all of this your doing?”

Akiko remained silent.

“Come on, you too. It’s to the basement for both of you. It seems a punishment is in store for you naughty children, human or not…”

\--

Even all these years later, I never wanted to reflect on his assault on us. Somehow, it was more painful than what I endured later on in my life. Perhaps it was because I had the mind of a child and couldn’t process it as well as I could when I became an adult.

The important part of this is that we survived, but barely. He chained me up, as usual, and when he was getting ready to penetrate me, he asked Akiko to fetch his drink. Tears in her eyes, she departed, only to return shortly with a box of unfiltered sake. He took a test sip and, satisfied with the flavor, he continued.

“Wait,” Akiko said.

I stared at her, wide-eyed. What was she planning?

“Can’t you see that she’s sorry? She’s crying and bleeding for you. Why don’t you just let her please you?”

My eyes widened more. Whose side was she on?

_ Trust me _ , she mouthed to me while Hayato turned to look at me. 

Then it clicked.

He pulled away, bringing his length to my face.

“You’ll have to unchain her for her to do what you want, you know, Hayato-sama. And apologies need to be sincere and passionate. Isn’t that what you’ve taught me?”

I had no idea how Akiko knew how to manipulate him so well, but with an aroused grunt, he obliged. I brought his disgusting length to my lips and, while his eyes were closed, poured the sleeping draught in his sake, swirling it around with my pinkie.

When he was through, he sank onto the futon. “You’ve learned well, Akiko-chan. Soon, maybe you can run the girls here.” He raised his box of sake, and drank deeply.

It took effect almost immediately, but he seemed aware of it. 

“It was a trick,” he mumbled sleepily. “And I thought...Akiko...you had learned from me…”

“I know what you want me to say. I’ve been here my whole life. But I love this oni you speak so poorly of. And now, you’ll pay for hurting her. For hurting me and everyone else. For the deaths of those who refused you.”

I brought out my blade and held it to his throat, but he was far too tired to do much other than talk. He didn’t even reach for my hand.

“A vision told me I would die tonight,” he said with a small laugh. “I just didn’t figure it would be by the oni’s hand. I thought I had come down here to...realize that I’d give the place to you. So the place could  _ become _ you.”

Akiko frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Haven’t you realized, living here as long as you have? I’m not a person, but simply a part of the soul of this house. Until the House is destroyed, I will not fully die, nor will my desire to own these women. All the House needs is a successor. You’d be perfect. It’s what I was…” He paused to cough. “It’s what I was training you to do, all these years. No one would suspect a pretty women to own women.”

I had never seen so much fury in Akiko’s eyes. “That’s why you went easy on me.”

“You seem to have accepted your death, then.” And I drew blood.

Blood poured from the uneven wound on his neck and from between his lips. “Go forth, Akiko. Become the House.”

And with a sputter, he breathed no more.

Akiko collapsed, as if his death physically pained her.

“What are you doing?” I asked, wiping the blade on my ruined clothes.

“I used to hear...voices at night. Various men...I thought they were memories of my pain. But now I realize...they were all the lives the House owned. It wasn’t Hayato who chose me as his successor, but he wouldn’t admit it. It was the House.” She made eye contact with me, her brown eyes almost glowing in the dim light. “And now I’m to be chosen.”

I grabbed her shoulders. “No. NO! You won’t become this House. We gotta burn it down.”

“But I’ll die!”

“No, you won’t. Go outside. Run to the kappa pond, even further if you can. I’m gonna burn this place down. Sure, the house is  _ mononoke _ , but it’s made of wood.” With a bedside candle, I lit the futon the deceased Hayato lied upon aflame.

We watched it for a moment as the flames spread to his body, covering our noses as the flames lapped at his skin. “Where’s the alcohol?”

“For what?”

“Alcohol makes flames spread.”

Akiko coughed, spraying blood from between her blackened teeth. “Upstairs. By the kitchens. I can’t...be here anymore.”

“That’s okay. I’ll meet you by the pond. All you should do is try to stay alive.”

She nodded, then after a brief moment of eye contact, she bolted.

I heard yelling from upstairs, and I clenched the tantou, holding it at the ready.

“Do you smell fire?”

“Why was that girl running?”

“Let’s get out of here!”

I stormed up and out of the basement, determined to find alcohol. It wasn’t hard, as I discovered the barrels of sake were kept in a very obvious place. I slashed at them with the tantou, letting out all the anger of what this House has done to us. To me. To Akiko, for daring to choose her out of its selfish desire to own other people. To Aira and all the other lives lost. 

The sake poured like a fragrant, snow-colored river from the barrels, nearly flooding the second floor. I could see the flames crawling up the basement steps, destroying everything in its path. It felt as though the floor itself was sinking.

I ran up the steps to the top floor, and froze immediately despite myself

There was a woman sleeping in the futon up there.

Hayato’s wife.

I couldn’t spare her. I was too angry at her letting everything happen, even if she was a woman herself. I slit her throat for good measure, then climbed out the window as the flames devoured the wooden support of the building.

“MIAKA!” I heard someone scream.

Startled, I jumped, which caused me to fall from the third-story balcony. With a scream, I grabbed onto the railing, hanging on for dear life. The wind roared at my feet. Flames pushed itself past the paper doors, devouring the dry grass and trees in its wake.

“YOU GOTTA JUMP!”

I swallowed. The longer I looked beneath me, the further away the ground looked.

“JUMP, MIAKA!”

I let go as the building collapsed. I could hear the support beams screaming, the chokes of the people who were unable to escape, the shrieks of the trees who sacrificed their lives for the death of the House. For the death of Hayato.

I let my knees and hands absorb the shock of my fall, and aside from a few bruises, it wasn’t too bad, since the House was falling. There was a crowd of people watching the House fall apart, murmuring among themselves.

“Where do we go now?”

“Is Hayato-sama still alive?”

“I never liked him, but he kept my family fed if I worked for him.”

“Let’s get out of here,” I said to Akiko.

She sank to her knees, heaving blood. I coughed, too, since the smoke felt like it was still alive in my lungs, but it was nothing like this. Akiko hacked until something dark and slimy escaped her body.

The essence of the House. The essence that had possessed Hayato to destroy so many lives.

I stomped at it, and it shrieked, flattening as it tried to bite at my feet. Realizing that the pressure wasn’t killing it, I stabbed it with my tantou. With a hiss, it became no more.

Akiko slumped against me, and I scooped her up in my arms. “Come on. Let’s go…”


	9. Of Stealth and Shrines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I find how other humans feel about oni.  
> (I'm having a commission sale that's Deltarune/Undertale-centric! [More info here!](https://shutendoujiwriting.carrd.co/#sale) [Email to get a spot!](mailto:shutendoujiwriting@gmail.com)  
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We wandered the woods behind the burning house for what felt like hours. Our clothes were burned, torn, and covered in blood. We smelled of smoke and the dead, and didn’t feel too much better than both.

We eventually came upon an empty shrine, where we collapsed of exhaustion. No words were spoken, but no words needed said between us. The night we had was far too much for any discussion.

Instead, my actions spoke. I covered her shivering body with my torn-up kimono and fell asleep at her side, holding her close.

\--

The cicadas woke us up early in the morning, and we took it as a sign to leave. Unfortunately, aside from servicing men, Akiko didn’t know how to do much for herself, so it was up to me to keep her fed and hydrated.

I figured that going into a town far from here would be our best bet. There was no use in disguising myself as human--my horns were far too big now to hide--but Akiko disguised herself as a boy, wearing clothes she stole from a shop in town. We then sat in the forest, and I cut her hair with the same knife I used to kill Hayato and his wife. 

“I should be called Aki now. A boy’s name.” Akiko decided, “and you’ll be my guardian kami. We can say you’re the kami of my family’s house and are keeping me safe in my travels.” She bit her lip. “I tried to...escape once. The entire town was in on Hayato’s house. They couldn’t be trusted. I’m worried we’d be put to death for what we did.

My stomach churned at the thought of lying, though it should’ve been more alarmed at the thought of dying. “I won’t say anything. I’ll let you do the talking.”

She turned suddenly, and I dropped the knife in fear of cutting her neck. “Why?”

“I...don’t think I can lie.”

“You don’t think you can?”

“I’ve never been able to. It hurts.”

She tilted her head. “Is that an oni thing?”

I shrugged. “Who knows.”

She turned around again, and I resumed cutting her hair. “Have you met any of your own kind before?”

Initially, I shook my head, but then I remembered she couldn’t see me. “No,” I said. “I didn’t know there were others for a long time.”

“Do you want to meet them?”

“Of course. I want to feel like I fit in, if that makes sense.”

“Yeah. If I lived among oni and was the only human I knew and was treated the way you were because of it, I’d feel the same way.”

“I’m just glad you treat me like a person.”

“Well now, you’re a kami.” She turned and beamed. “We should get you some nice clothes and make you look like a real one.”

I rolled my eyes but went along with it. I loved dressing up, but I hated the idea of wearing an elaborate, multi-piece kimono, especially in the summer. We returned to the town to search the markets, ducking behind people so they wouldn’t give us second glances, before settling on two lightweight silk kimono I was okay with. The bottom layer was pink, my favorite color, and the top one was red. The kimono draped behind me dramatically, even when tied up, and I felt like a royal lady. But I assumed that was the point.

Together, we tried to brush out my hair and let the long, red locks flow behind my shoulders. Our eyes made contact as she placed a strand of hair over my shoulder. Her fingers lingered on my cheeks for a moment, then she giggled.

“You’re always so dirty,” she scolded me, licking her fingers and rubbing the dirt off.

I laughed and playfully shoved her off of me. “I can wash my own face!”

“Apparently not!” She tackled me to the ground, and we collapsed in a pile of silk, giggling.    
When I opened my eyes, I noticed that she was right above me, her nose brushing against mine, her deep black eyes staring into my golden brown. I felt the strangest urge to kiss her--something I hadn’t considered with anyone before, even though I was required to kiss men in all sorts of places when we lived with Hayato--but I just smiled instead. I wanted her to feel safe with me, especially since I was supposed to be her kami.

“What’re you two doing here?” someone asked.

I was suddenly aware of my surroundings. We had been rolling around like children in the middle of the marketplace in stolen clothes. A shopkeeper was giving us a stern look, a barrel of sake in his arms. 

“Sorry,” Akiko said with a bow. I noticed she had lowered her voice slightly. Had she pretended to be a boy before?

“What’s that?” the shopkeeper asked, gesturing toward me.

Akiko lended me a hand, and I stood, trying not to trip over my kimono. “This is Miaka-okami,” Akiko said softly. “My family’s kami. She’s protecting me during my journey.” 

I gave the shopkeeper a polite bow, unsure if Akiko’s plan would work, but holding my tongue for our safety. 

The shopkeeper almost dropped his sake as he fell into a low bow. “Sorry to bother you two. Where are you headed to?”

“We’re looking for a place to eat and rest. We’ve been traveling a great distance,” Akiko lied easily, making my head spin and palms sweat a bit. “We’re headed to the capitol.”

“As I would assume, with such an important, ah,  _ presence _ accompanying you. I can lead you to this town’s shrine, if you would like. The attendants there would be honored.”

We exchanged bows. The shopkeeper gave me a cup of sake, which I sipped happily as we followed him to the shrine.

“Aki-kun,” I whispered, “they’re gonna know what I am.”

Akiko shook her head. “It’ll be okay. Trust me.”

I had a very hard time trusting someone who could lie so easily. What if she was deceiving me in some way? This whole thing just felt gross and wrong.

My heart was in my throat once we arrived at the shrine. As we passed under the gates of the shrine--torii, as the humans call them--I collapsed against Akiko, falling into feverish sweating. 

My vision blurred. What was happening? I felt something hard hit my skin and instantly felt a burning sensation. One of my hands caught what was being tossed at me, and I noticed it was a soybean. 

“Her kind isn’t welcome here,” someone said, far from my head. I heard screaming between my ears, between my horns. My skin felt like someone had poured candle wax on it. I felt my fangs in my mouth retracting, my nails growing, and my skin crawling like thousands of cicadas were chirping beneath my skin. 

I felt someone pin me to the ground, and then, I didn’t feel anything.

\--

I woke up in the shrine itself, dazed and confused, with Akiko--now dressed as a girl--sitting beside my futon.

“What happened?” I asked, my throat dry.

“The shrine has protections against oni. I’m sorry for being so stupid.” She hung her head. 

“Why am I still alive, then?” I asked.

She gave me a half-smile. “I convinced them that you were a good oni. I told them what you would tell them if you were awake.”

“Which was?”

She giggled. “The truth!”

I snuggled deeper into the blankets, lifting them so she could lay beside me. When she crawled under the covers, she continued. 

“I told them that we were sold to a whorehouse against our will and forced to do awful things with men, and that you were helping me escape. They seem to think you’re some kind of good spirit, a good oni to bring them luck, so they want to keep us here for a while.”

A shrine attendant came in then, carrying bowls of tea and soup, and presenting them to me with a bow. I took them and gave her a smile. She blushed and departed, saying something to herself about blessings.

Once I was feeling better, I wandered the shrine, allowing Akiko to rest. Night had fallen, and people were eating and drinking outside. An older woman--I instantly felt intense power about her and assumed she was the head of the family--noticed me first, and offered me a cup of sake.

I took it with a bow and a smile.

“She’s a child,” someone said. “You can’t give her drinks.”

“She only looks like a child. She could be much older,” someone else said.

The older woman crouched. “How old are you,  _ akai oni-san? _ ” 

“Eight,” I said. “I think.”

She patted my head, right between the horns, and I giggled. “She’s a harmless oni child, and she can drink all she wants. She’s keeping that human safe.”

“I appreciate your generosity,” I said. The sake was cold and sweet, yet it warmed me from the inside out. Even though it was summer, the warmth was pleasant and made me a little dizzy. 

“You and Akiko-san are welcome to stay here as long as you need. Do you know where you’re headed? I’m assuming you’ll want to be with your own people.”

I couldn’t help myself then. I fell into sobs against the old woman. She held me close, rubbing my back.

“Dear, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know any of my kind. I want to find them, but I’m all alone.” I sniffed and wiped my nose on my sleeve. “I was raised by humans, then I was sold, like Akiko-chan. I don’t have anywhere to go.”

“Well, you two are welcome to live here, if you’d like. We’ll keep you safe.”

If I had bowed more, I would have give myself back problems, and I was too young for that. 

“Miaka-chan.”

I looked up.

“Akiko-chan mentioned that the house you lived in influenced people to...do their bidding, so to speak. Your kind can’t lie, so I’m wondering...is this true?”

I nodded. “After we...killed the man who was keeping us, I noticed that Akiko was having a hard time controlling herself. And the man mentioned the House becoming people. What does that mean?”

The woman sighed and folded her hands. “This isn’t the first time we’ve heard of such things. Come with me. There’s someone you should meet…”


	10. Of Safety and Spirits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel used.  
> (I'm having a commission sale that's Deltarune/Undertale-centric! [More info here!](https://shutendoujiwriting.carrd.co/#sale) [Email to get a spot!](mailto:shutendoujiwriting@gmail.com)  
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**Notes for the Chapter:**

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It probably should go without saying, but the idea of speaking alone with humans absolutely terrified me. Here I was, a horribly starved and abused child after the aftermath of murder, being ushered into a dark room in the back of the shrine to talk serious business. I was shaking, my sandals creaking under my quivering legs.

The old woman guided me to a man in white robes seated on a tiny stool, lighting a few candles. “I was wondering about the _akai oni_ child. Come have a seat.” The man gestured toward a tiny stool.

I sat. “Um. Hello?”

“What’s your name, child?”

I was going to tell him Miaka, the name that people had called me up until this point, but I decided to have a longer explanation. “The humans called me Miaka. The other part of my name is Ibuki.”

“Ibuki. Like the mountain.”

I nodded. “That’s where I was born.”

“On...the mountain?”

“Yeah. My…” I stopped myself before calling the woman who sold me my mother. “The woman who kept me safe, sort of, said that she found me in a bundle on the side of the mountain.” I fidgeted with my clothes. “But I feel like I came from it.”

“How do you know that?”

“I don’t. I just feel it.” I put a hand on my chest.

The man made a strange motion with his hands. “It’s what I thought. The incarnation of Ibukiyama truly has come.”

A strange noise came out of my throat. “The what?”

“In this area, there’s been rumors of elevated spiritual activity near the Ibuki mountains. Some of the people manning the shrines there claimed to hear the voices of the _onikami_ themselves, speaking of two incarnations to live today, one from Ibukiyama, and one from Azaidake. It seems like you are the incarnation of Ibukiyama, the onikami of that mountain.”

He kept using the word onikami, as if it was possible for an oni, a monster like me, to be a kami. “I sure don’t feel special enough to be a mountain.”

He waved me off. “You, just like the mountain you were known as, are destined for greatness.”

“That sure hasn’t happened yet.”

“But you’ve already felt it inside you. Sometimes, dark times raise the brightness within us. Besides, you’re here now. You’re safe.”

I didn’t feel safe, but the tension in my shoulders relaxed a little.

“But I didn’t want to just talk about your mountain home.” He leaned forward on his stool. “I want to hear about the house you were living in.”

I tilted my head. This strange man had tilted my entire world, yet he wanted to know something as simple as my abusive past? I felt tears well up in my eyes, though I wasn’t sure why. My stomach clenched.

“You don’t need to go into detail, Ibuki-chan. Just about the house itself.”

I sighed. I didn’t know much about it, but it was easier to discuss than what actually happened in it. “I guess the people who lived there felt like the house convinced them to do terrible things. Like after…” I swallowed. “After Hayato died--”

“Hayato? Do you know his family name?”

I shook my head. I felt like I had heard it once or twice, but couldn’t remember.

“I’ve seen him patrolling various girls before. He visited this shrine for a blessing. We refused him.” The man crossed his arms. “Looks like we should’ve looked into it more, but it’s not out of the ordinary to see women and their owners around here.”

I furrowed my brows but didn’t know how to respond.

“Continue.”

The woman I met earlier came back with bowls of tea for us. I sipped gingerly, then froze.

“What is this?” I asked, drooling the tea on myself and my clothes.

The woman laughed and took a handkerchief from her _obi_ , drying up my face. “Matcha, from the Capitol. It was a gift to our kami, Amaterasu-omikami, and now that she’s blessed it, it’s ours to drink. And yours.”

“I’ve never had something so delicious!”

The woman laughed and tucked away the cloth. “Yes, it’s quite rare in these parts. It’s more popular around the Capitol.”

The man, who was ignoring our conversation from tea, cleared his throat. “What did the house do?”

“Oh yeah! Um. Well, before I...killed Hayato…” I hid my hands in my sleeves, as though they still had blood on them. “He said that the house spoke to him, made him do things, and Akiko was next. After he died, Akiko started acting really weird, like the house was controlling her.”

The man frowned, then took out a scroll and began taking some notes. “I’ll take some of my men to the area. Where is the house?”

I fidgeted with the sleeve, tearing it a little. “I burnt it.”

“You burnt a house that was commanding people to do its bidding?”

“I just wanted to kill every bad person in it and escape. I thought it was the right thing to do.”

“I’m sure the spirit still haunts the grounds. Can you lead the way?”

The woman grabbed my shoulders. “Abe-sensei, she’s just a child! Don’t let her go back to where people hurt her!”

My knees shook, and I covered them with my sleeved hands, making my entire body bounce a little. I didn’t want to go back. I didn’t even want to look at that place. But then, despite myself, I swallowed, my saliva acidic, and said, “I’ll lead you there. Only to prevent other girls from getting hurt.”

“No, you can’t!” the woman shouted, resting her hands on my head. “You can’t make her go. Let her recover. Don’t get her wrapped up in _onmyoudou_.”

I didn’t know what onmyoudou was at the time, and I was afraid to ask.

“She’s an oni, Hitomi-san. It’s in her nature. They’re brave to a fault. And she’s hardly a child.”

“I think I’m eight,” I offered, though I wasn’t sure why. My stomach lurched, and I covered my mouth with one hand.

“She’s a little girl, Abe-sensei!”

“She’s not. That’s just what she looks like.” He stood, and then I noticed just how tall he was, the strange hat he wore almost touching the low ceiling. “And with her experiences, she can help us a lot. A useful tool.”

It was then my stomach emptied on the shrine floor.

Hitomi emitted a sad, squealing noise and grabbed me by the shoulders, rubbing them. “Poor thing! Are you okay?”

“Don’t coddle the oni!” Abe snapped.

I wiped my mouth and looked up. I didn’t understand where his hatred was coming from or what his problem was, but I didn’t care. “If you’re nice to me, I’ll show you where the house was, only because I don’t want more people to get hurt. But if you’re gonna be mean, you’ll have to figure it out yourself.”

Abe stepped around my vomit, crossing his arms in his sleeves, glowering. “You better watch yourself, _akai oni_.”

“I thought you said I was going to be safe.” I spit acid out of the corner of my mouth. Why are you talking down to me?”

“This situation is getting a bit tense for the shrine!” Hitomi exclaimed, her voice cracking. “Ibuki is a child who has been through horrible things, and you’re being rude.” She leaned forward so her face was in my view. “How about I refill your tea and you go lay down for a bit? We’ll talk about this more later.”

I nodded, not lowering my gaze from Abe’s.

Hitomi led me away from Abe, leaving her arm around my shoulder.

“Are you going to clean this up, woman?” Abe snapped at Hitomi while her back was turned.

Hitomi froze. Giving me a glance with a twinkle in her eye, she said, “You’re the one who caused it. How about you play the woman for a moment?”

Abe yelled profanities as Hitomi slid the door shut behind her.

As we walked up the stairs, Hitomi looked at me. “I’m...sorry. I know he’s had really conflicting views of your kind. I think he wants to like you, but he’s had some...rough experiences with your kind before.”

“My kind? Oni?”

“Yes.”

“What happened?”

“Well...Abe-sensei is an _onmyouji_. He does spirit work for the capitol. They study the stars, keep the people of the Capitol and the surrounding regions safe from evil spirits, and communicate with higher entities. They’re supposed to represent balance between humanity and beyond, but...some, like Abe-sensei, become a bit clouded by their judgement of spirits.” She sighed. “He was trying to keep a rather rambunctious oni out of the city, one who would pound on the doors of humans at night and scream inconsolable. Eventually, this brought the attention of tengu.”

“Tengu?”

“Bird spirits. They came in and killed anyone who had communicated with the oni. Abe-sensei thought it was part of the oni’s plot, to distract his victims and then help others kill them. One of the tengu shot him in the leg, which poisoned his blood. He lost that leg last night.”

I thought about the noise of Abe’s walking and realized that it was a bit louder than an ordinary human. He must’ve had a wooden leg. But something else about Hitomi’s story bothered me. I frowned. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Why not? The doctors of the Capitol can make prosthetics.”

“Not that. I’ve seen those. The oni tricking people. It sounds like he needed help. Maybe the tengu were after him.”

“Why would tengu be after an oni?”

“I don’t know. I’ve lived with humans my whole life. But it sounds like he was trying to ask for help and instead, people who tried to help got killed.”

Hitomi frowned but didn’t say anything.

“Besides, my people aren’t the type to trick people. We can’t lie.”

“Abe-sensei did mention that.”

“Then why does he think the oni was trying to kill people?”

We had arrived in a room at that point, and Hitomi unrolled a futon for me. “Because that’s what the tengu said.” She helped me out of my clothes and tucked me under the covers. “I’ll be back with tea. We’ll have to talk more later.” And with a ruffle of my hair, she stepped out, sliding the door behind her.

I couldn’t help but feel like she and Abe were hiding something from me, but I was too tired to say more. I rolled onto my side and lost consciousness.


	11. Of Wind and Willpower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I make a friend in a very high place.  
> (I'm having a commission sale that's Deltarune/Undertale-centric! [More info here!](https://shutendoujiwriting.carrd.co/#sale) [Email to get a spot!](mailto:shutendoujiwriting@gmail.com)  
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**Notes for the Chapter:**

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It was dark once I awoke.

Akiko was asleep in another futon beside me, snoring peacefully. In the candlelight, it looked as though someone had bathed her, probably Hitomi. 

Noticing something in the corner of my eye, I turned and saw that someone had left me food and tea. My stomach growled, and I scooped the rice and meat with my hands, utensils laying forgotten beside me.

I was licking my plate when the door slid open, and none other than Abe himself stood in the low light.

I lowered the plate. “What do you want?”

“We had a deal, Ibuki-chan. You must lead me and my men to the house you used to live in.”

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly feeling rather dry. “Right now?”

“Yes. It’s almost dawn. If we are to see this place before the sun sets, we must leave now.”

“The sun ain’t even risen yet,” I yawned, but rolled out of my futon anyway. 

Abe tossed me some clothes--boys’ clothes, with loose pants. “These will be easier to journey in. Come to the steps of the shrine when you’re dressed.” And with that, Abe slid the door shut.

It was easier to dress myself in boys’ clothes, even in the dark. There were far less layers, less things to tie. The only issue was how long the clothes were, so I hiked up the pants a bit higher than they were supposed to be and rolled the top down. Hopefully, my pants wouldn’t drag too much then.

Afterward, I headed out, careful to not make too much noise for everyone sleeping. There were quite a few people--men, women, and children--lain out in the main shrine hall. I wondered if Hitomi housed the local homeless in the shrine.

“Hurry up!” Abe-sense whispered to me.

I jumped, not knowing he was beside me. He tugged on the back of my shirt and pulled me out of the shrine.

There were five other onmyouji besides him, one of which barely looking older than me. He squinted at me when he saw me, the lantern he held making his face look gaunt and quite angry.

“Are you sure about this? That an oni like her can lead us?”

“She knows where to go. Don’t you, Ibuki-chan?”

I swallowed. “I sure hope so,” I mumbled as I slipped on my shoes. 

One of the other onmyouji laughed. “I love her kind. They can’t lie, so now we know we don’t have a false sense of security.”

Abe didn’t say anything to him and instead pushed me ahead of the group, with himself at my heels. 

It was hard to know where I was going, and even harder with the onmyouji following me and occasionally snickering at my indecision. I was tired, my mouth dry, my stomach felt as though it was about to devour itself, and, unlike other mononoke, I couldn’t see in the dark. 

What I could do, however, was talk to the neighboring trees. I wasn’t sure if the onmyouji knew this, but trees were full of knowledge and are ready to talk whenever. I supposed it would be quite boring, sitting there and being a tree all the time. There wasn’t much more to do than gossip.

_ Um, hi, _ I said to them. Not out loud, of course; I didn’t want the onmyouji to hear our conversation in case they made the trees clam up.  _ Do you remember me passing through here the other day? _

_ Yes, _ one of the trees responded immediately.  _ You have a very interesting spirit. There’s not many of your kind passing through here these days. _

_ Do you know which way I came from? _

_ You came from the way you’re walking toward right now. I’ll send a message to the other trees to help guide you. Where are you going? _

_ To the remains of my old home. _

There was a gust of wind on my neck, blowing my hair in my face. I shivered.

_ You’re looking for the remains of the brothel? _ the wind asked. 

_ Who are you? _ I asked.

_ I am called Fuujin, and you’re impossible not to notice. You realize that you make your energy brighter when you communicate with nature, right? _

I blushed.  _ No. _

_ Poor thing, _ the wind sighed.  _ I’d come down there and give you a form to see, but the onmyouji like me less than they like you. I’ll keep you company, though. _

_ If the onmyouji don’t like you, then why are you helping? _

_ I’m interested in the welfare of you and the safety of those who have prayed to me. If the onmyouji are interested in that as well, then I suppose we’re allies with a common enemy. You see...I’m like you. _

_ Like...me? _

_ I’m an oni, too. Just much older. You and I used to be friends, actually. Your incarnation is just too young to remember. _

At the time, I didn’t really understand anything Fuujin was saying, but hearing the voice of someone like me was comfort enough. 

_ You’ll want to turn left onto the main road here. At least it’s too early for pickpocketers. _

I followed Fuujin’s instructions and heard the youngest onmyouji say, “I don’t like this. I can feel the spirits around her.”

“That’s just what oni feel like,” another onmyouji said. “Be glad she’s a child and not capable of much.”

_ Or, you could be glad that I’m noncorporeal right now and too tired to kick your sorry ass, _ Fuujin retorted.

I stiffled a giggle.

“She’s not a child. See? She’s laughing at you for thinking that,” Abe interrupted. “Now, keep walking and stop being idiots, both of you.”

The rest of the journey continued like this, the onmyouji bickering, Fuujin whispering snarky things in my ear and keeping me from being lost. The sun rose and set, yet we didn’t stop for food. I had gone beyond the point of hunger to physical pain, and eventually, numbness. The youngest onmyouji eventually hesitantly handed over his gourd of water, which I had to try very hard not to chug so I wouldn’t get sick. 

In the low, pink-and-purple sun, we arrived at the remains of the brothel, as Fuujin put it. It was still smoking and crumbling in spots, but there was no sign of life. As we passed by the lake, I noticed the kappa peering out, just the tops of their heads and their eyes poking from the safety of their water. One of them waved a webbed hand at me before sinking back underwater. 

“This is definitely it. Thank you for living up to your end of the bargain,” Abe said to me. Then, he turned toward the other onmyouji. “Bind her. Make sure she can’t move.”

“Wait, what?”

Words were spoken in every language and none at all. I felt ice at my fingertips, my wrists, my arms, until it was as though I had been but an ice block this whole time. 

_ Dammit, _ Fuujin whispered.  _ Can you still hear me? _

I tried to nod, but I couldn’t move my head.  _ Yeah. _

_ Good. The stupid Abe clan is paranoid. I think they think you’ll attack them. If they dare try to leave you here, I’ll create a form and destroy them. _

_ You’d do that for me? _

_ Anything for an old friend. And also because they’re morally fucked. _

I would’ve laughed out loud if I could move my mouth.  _ So what do I do now? _

_ Sit and wait, I suppose. Can you see anything? _

I couldn’t blink, so my eyes were beginning to go out of focus. Everything was blurry. Even sounds outside of the spirit of Fuujin I was talking to felt far away, as though I were losing consciousness.  _ Not really _ .

_ They’re completing an exorcism of the place. Only five onmyouji are doing it, and the little one is watching. I think he’s a student.  _

Fuujin continued narrating for my sake until a surge of power radiated from the ground. I felt the stability of whatever ice was holding me begin to crack, then the screams of thousands of spirits. The onmyouji began to shout--much clearer now that the ice had spit me out and I could move again--but I couldn’t understand the words. They felt ancient and dangerous. 

_ You’re welcome _ , said Fuujin.  _ Normally, I don’t break their spells, but I was starting to get a bad feeling. _

“The oni is moving!” the onmyouji-in-training shouted.

_ Exactly, _ Fuujin replied. 

The exorcism began to end there. The ground opened up and began to swallow up the thousands of screaming spirits and the house itself.

_ They’re being sent to Yomi, to be purified, _ Fuujin told me, even though I didn’t ask.

“Throw her in anyway!” another onmyouji shouted. “She’s tiny. Just pick her up!”

_ No! _

The wind began to roar around me, and the form of a tall, brilliant blue oni appeared before me.

“You will not harm the incarnation of Ibukiyama, or you will face the wrath of the onikami!”

Who I was assuming were the smart onmyouji kneeled, then, but Abe and the onmyouji-in-training stared, stunned.

“Fuujin...sama?” Abe whispered.

“The fact that you used a damaged child with the intention of sending her to Yomi with the corrupted, trapped souls of this brothel is disgusting. What say you in your defense?”

“I was just doing what I thought was best for the people.”

“What is best for the people isn’t destroying every life form you don’t understand!” Fuujin shouted. The wind began to pick up, the sky darkening. It looked as though a typhoon was rolling in. “You did your job here, and now, the trapped souls can rest. Now take the child home!”

“The shrine is not her home?”

“Oh, is it not?” Fuujin dropped her arms, and it began to rain. Not just a light drizzle, but a torrential downpour, the type that washes the dye out of clothes. “I’m sure your ex-lover, Hitomi-san, would disagree. She always did want children, didn’t she?”

Abe clenched his fists. “How did you know that?”

Fuujin smirked. “The wind sees many things. And the wind sees how you’re walking a dangerous path against my kind. Treat this child with kindness, or face my wrath.” And with that, she dissolved into the storm, laughter in the wind.

Abe sighed. “Let’s take her home, then.”

The omyouji-in-training and another of Abe’s men helped me to my feet, and in the rain, we journeyed back to the shrine. 

_ You’re welcome, _ Fuujin said.  _ As much as I can help, I’ll try to keep you safe _ .

_ Thank you, Fuujin-sama. _

As we walked, I looked back. The kappa sunk back into the water, hiding from the typhoon. Aside from the roaring winds, the snapping of the tree branches, and the merciless rain, the area felt different than it had when I used to live here, even a few days ago.

When the storm blew over, I somehow knew that, despite my feelings toward the onmyouji, they had done a good job.


	12. Of Inns and Independence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I stay in an inn.
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Fuujin must have scared Abe and his crew, because he didn’t last long in the storm. It didn’t bother me too much--I was just a little cold--but he insisted we go to the nearest village and stay the night.

The innkeeper didn’t seem all that willing to house six onmyouji and an oni girl.

“We’ll keep the oni and other mononoke away from your inn tonight if you let us stay,” Abe begged, slapping coin upon coin on the desk.

The innkeeper gestured toward me. “What’s that, then?”

“It can sleep outside.”

The wind howled. Thunder crashed in the distance. I could hear the screams of a tree falling and the crack of a window as the wind beat it mercilessly.

“Never mind,” Abe said nervously, adjusting his hat. “She doesn’t count. She’s just a child.”

The wind seemed to calm down a little after that.

I murmured a thank-you to Fuujin in my spirit voice as I was shown to my room--a private room, while the onmyouji were all squeezed into another one.

The innkeeper slid the door shut behind him and asked me, “Are you being held hostage?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s unusual to see onmyouji and your kind together.”

“I was helping them exorcise the house that way.” I gestured. “The brothel. It was possessed. Now I’m going home.”

“Do they live with you?”

I remembered Hitomi giving me treats from the Capitol. “I don’t think so. I’m hoping they leave soon.”

He ruffled my hair. “Well, if you need anything, let me know. I’m an ally to all spirits, boy.”

“I’m a girl.”

“Oh?” he raised an eyebrow. “You don’t look it.”

“Boy clothes are practical. But I guess it doesn’t really matter, does it?”

He chuckled as he began to leave. “You’re a strange child...uhh…”

“Ibuki.”

“Ibuki-san. You have a good night and if anything ever goes wrong, you know where I am, even after you go home.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I simply bowed. 

I undressed and slid into my futon afterward, and just as I was about to drift off, he returned.

“I figured the onmyouji didn’t feed you. Here’s the leftovers from what my wife made them for dinner. I hear your people like meat.”

I dug in immediately. It was savory and thick, just what I needed after my travels. I didn’t even dare to ask what it was, nor did I care. It filled me up and made me feel better.

Afterward, he gave me a sticky bun and a pat on the head before leaving me to my dreams, my post-feast self lulled to sleep by a full stomach and the sounds of the storm.

\--

The storm had subsided by the time I awoke. 

When I dressed and went to the main area of the inn for breakfast, I noticed that none of the onmyouji were there.

The innkeeper saw me and smiled. “Good morning, Ibuki. Want our breakfast special? I won’t charge you.”

“Sure. Where did the onmyouji go?”

“They took a caravan to the Capitol this morning. Said it was important business. The oldest one, Abe-sensei, said that he would be coming back to take you back to the shrine, then he was taking off to the Capitol as well.” He paused to murmur something to a tiny woman heading into the kitchens, then smiled at me. “He should be back--”

The front door slid open.

“--any minute now. There he is!”

Abe ignored the innkeeper and fixed his eyes on me. “You’re finally awake.”

I yawned.

“Ready to go back? I’m just gonna drop you off.”

“Let the child have breakfast first! It’s a long way to the shrine from here.” 

The tiny woman the innkeeper had been speaking to earlier set a bowl of rice, a bowl of tea, and some fish before me, which I began to inhale. While I was eating, she gave me a small cup of a warm, clear liquid.

“I hear it’s a special drink for your kind. Have some before you go.”

I gave it a sniff. I remembered the smell from the days in the brothel as something the men would drink, but for some reason, the smell didn’t make me recoil. Perhaps it really was a special drink for oni.

“Are you giving the child  _ alcohol _ ?” Abe asked, throwing his hands in the air.

“She’s an oni. She’ll need her strength to get back to the shrine with how hard you’ve been working her.”

I ignored them and sat back. A strange feeling settled in my gut and my head, but it wasn’t unpleasant, just made me a little dizzy. I also did immediately feel a bit stronger, like I could handle whatever Abe threw at me. 

“Thank you,” I said to the woman, giving her a bow.

“It’s my pleasure.” She bowed in return and took the now-empty cup from me. “My husband told me about you. Just know you have friends everywhere, even if it doesn’t seem like it.”

Abe sighed. “Hurry up, Ibuki-chan. Hitomi-san is waiting for you.”

I swallowed a mouthful of rice. “Waiting for me?”

“Apparently. So eat faster.”

Even though I had Fuujin on my side, I was still a bit scared of Abe, so I ate as fast as I could just to get him to stop pestering me.

“Come back anytime!” the innkeeper said as we left.

I gave him and his wife a bow before following Abe.

\--

Just as the innkeeper said, as soon as I was safely through the torii, the onmyouji departed without turning back. 

“What’s he doing in the Capitol?” I asked Hitomi when I saw her.

She hugged me, fussed over my wet clothes, and brought me straight to the bath, leaving my question unanswered.

I moved onto another question. “Wheres Akiko?”

“She’s helping the other shrine attendants. We’ve decided to keep her and teach her to serve the kami.”

“What about me? Will I still see her?”

Hitomi paused, mid-washing my hair. “Do you plan on leaving?”

“I dunno.” I shrugged. “I’m not used to being wanted.”

Hitomi hugged me then, my tiny wet body in the bathtub getting her nice clothes all soaked. “Of course I want you here. You can stay as long as you like.”

I cried against her, getting her even more soaked than before, but she didn’t complain. All she did was hold me close.

And with her blessing, I did stay. 

Akiko and I became somewhat-sisters, sharing a room at night. During the day, she did shrine duties, and I was free to roam as I pleased. This shrine wasn’t far from a human village, and before long, they became used to me, too.

When I wasn’t at the shrine with Akiko, watching her become a  _ miko _ , I was in the markets, in villages, people-watching. Humans were just so  _ fascinating _ ! I wasn’t sure what drew me to them so much. Maybe it was the gossip? The sake? 

They were awfully funny, too. There was a tavern I liked to hang out at for the people-watching and the sake, and they would feed me, free of charge.

I was sipping on my sake cup when a rather large, tattooed man sat across from me.

“Ain’t you a bit young to be drinking?” he asked, cracking his knuckles.

I pointed at my head, as though that would explain, and finished my cup. 

“I don’t care what you are. You’ve gotta be, what? Nine? Ten?”

“Something like that.”

“So what are you doing?”

“I’d leave the girl alone if I were you,” one of the tavern-tenders said, wiping down a table near me.

I stood, set down my cup on the ground, and flipped the table with one hand. “If you don’t leave me alone, you’re next.”

I thought the man would deck me, but instead, he laughed as he struggled to flip the table back. “You got spunk, kid. Next round’s on me.”

I drank with him into the night. The next morning, I caught him leaving some offerings for Amaterasu-omikami, and in the little stand off to the side, he left me some, too.

As Akiko grew older, taller, and curvier, I didn’t change much, but I made friends at the shrine, who left me offerings when I would go out during the day to explore, to talk to the local spirits, and to visit humans. I did go back to see the innkeeper and his wife often, which was in the opposite direction of the village closest to the shrine, but one I loved visiting, too. They, too, gave me so much food and offerings that I offered the leftovers to the shrine, too.

This helped them make a lot more money, which helped them expand housing surrounding the shrine to accomodate for the local street life. I tried to help them with manual labor--as an oni, I’m pretty strong--and any other dirty work they don’t want to do, just to show my gratitude.

This made them offer me bigger bottles of sake.

I didn’t know what to do with them. It felt odd, almost being worshipped in a way.

“I don’t care what Abe-sensei says about her,” I caught Hitomi saying to an attendant sweeping the porch. “She’s done nothing but bring us blessings. We can feed the local homeless children, house them, clothe them, bathe them, and still honor Amaterasu-omikami.”

“She makes me a little nervous,” the attendant said, fidgeting with the broom handle. “She’s kind of wild. And watching her laying down the roof! A little girl should never be that strong!”

“She’s more than a little girl,” Hitomi sighed. “She’s a little girl and then some. And I’m grateful for her.”

“I’m grateful, too, but maybe we should listen to Abe-sensei.” The attendant looked up at the sky warily. “He says she’s bringing a storm with her, and I don’t know how long these peaceful years can last…”


	13. Of Suspicions and Storms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The storm arrives.
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Despite the paranoia, things did stay peaceful for a long time.

Before long, I found myself watching the ceremony where Akiko pledged herself to Amaterasu-omikami, giving my own offerings of sake to the shrine as I kneeled in the audience. 

_ Congratulations _ , I heard all the nearby spirits saying as Akiko surged with power as the kami filled her being. I wondered if the humans could hear them, but Akiko jumped. It seemed as though Amaterasu-omikami had given her the ability to hear more than before.

She became much busier after that, doing ceremonies with Hitomi for the locals, helping the housed people in the shrine. I continued living as I did before, helping with manual things around the shrine, visiting the villages, and overall just doing whatever I felt.

Shrine festivals were the best part. All sorts of humans would come by, young and old. The older ones seemed afraid of me, but the younger ones always wanted to play, which I loved. There was music, food, drink, games, and everything I loved about life. 

A large part of me hoped this would be life forever, but if there’s anything I had learned in my short, miserable life, it was that good things never last. 

Of course, during these happy years, Abe and his disciples did stop by to pray, to bring offerings and goods, and to warn Hitomi and Akiko incessantly about me. 

“You know she isn’t human, right? You’ll keep her safe here, and I won’t harm her, but at what cost? She will bring us destruction.”

“Nonsense!” Hitomi snapped every time, slamming down whatever she was holding at the moment, usually plates of food. “You must not speak of our guest that way! Regardless of what she is, she’s a child, and she needs love.”

“Oni aren’t people like you and me,” he would always say. “Their needs, morals, and desires are different.”

“What morals?” Akiko said once, putting an arm around me. Akiko grew very quickly and was now tall enough to pass as my mother. “The ones you lack?”

The room grew very quiet.

“I see you’re on the monster’s side. Unfortunate. I was going to marry you to my son.”

“She is an priestess of Amaterasu-omikami,” Hitomi replied, narrowing her eyes, clenching her bowl of tea so tightly I was worried she’d crack it. “She cannot marry.”

“I am married to my kami,” Akiko added, keeping her eyes lowered. 

Abe sighed. “Of course you are, now.” He rose to leave, his robes sweeping over the tatami floors. The rustling of fabric almost felt like a form of his great and terrible magic, something to force something awful to happen. “Your tiny shrine to Amaterasu-omikami is out of the Capitol’s sphere of protection. When the storm comes, I wonder who will be left.” And with that, he departed.

Once he was gone, I asked, “Sphere of protection?”

Hitomi sighed and averted her eyes. “Heian-Kyou, the Capitol, is under the sphere of influence of the royal onmyouji. They protect the area so the emperor will never be harmed by the spirits on the outside.”

“Spirits like me.” I eyed my food, my stomach dropping and suddenly no longer hungry.

“Unfortunately, yes. But fortunately, we’re not guarded against you.”

“Abe-sensei said there’s a storm coming, but Amaterasu-omikami never said anything about that. What does he mean?” Akiko asked.

No one said a word, for no one knew the answer.

\--

There wasn’t much warning before the storm began.

It began with rain, which wasn’t unusual for the late summer. The thunder didn’t seem too horrifying, either. But when the ground shook, we knew something was wrong.

“This isn’t just a storm!” Hitomi had shouted, boarding up the windows of the shrine. “It’s an earthquake!”

I had felt earthquakes before, back when I lived with Hayato, but they were minor, only breaking a few things. This was far different. 

Heart hammering in my ears, I grabbed Akiko and ducked underneath a table for protection. She had to scrunch quite a bit, for she was much larger than me, and my horn rested against the back of her neck. 

“Why is it wet down here?” Akiko whispered to me, even though she didn’t need to.

She was right. Something was soaking through the tatami.

“Is it the rain?” I asked.

“We sealed the ceiling already, remember? You helped with the last leak.”

I (and a few other attendants) had indeed helped with the ceiling leakage problem, and nothing was dripping from the ceiling.

“We’re flooding!” I heard Hitomi yell.

And then the shrine began to crumble.

I squeezed Akiko’s hand as the building shook. The water level was rising, and she shivered at the salty floodwaters filling the place. At first, I thought I was only hearing shrine offerings and belongings on shelves, but the impact alone shook the entire table. The tiny legs holding it creaked and groaned in the water surrounding them. As the cloth on the sides lifted with the water, I could see wood floating in the water.

“We need to get out from under here,” Akiko said. “We won’t be able to stay in the water for long.”

After waiting a few moments, making sure the shaking had stopped, I crawled out from beneath the table, dragging her behind me.

The first thing we saw was the sky, grey-purple swirling above us in rainy skies. 

The second was the shrine full of dirty water.

The third was the upside-down floating body of Hitomi, impaled by broken wood of the remains of the shrine.

Akiko emitted a shrieking sound and rushed over to her as fast as her soggy legs in the flood could carry her. Wordlessly, I helped her flip the body over, my hand resting on the wood impaled through her back.

Watery blood escaped Hitomi’s lips with a cough. “Leave while you can,” she managed. “Get the survivors and go further inland, up the mountains. Escape this wreckage.”

“You’re hurt! I can’t leave you!” Akiko managed.

“The water is only getting higher,” Hitomi protested. “I can’t come with you...like this.” She couldn’t move her head, but Hitomi adjusted her eyes to mine. “Ibuki-chan. Can you pull this out of me and let me die?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and sniffed, using my damp sleeve to try to dry the silent tears and my running nose. “If this is what you want,” I croaked.

“Please. If I am to die now, I’m to die with my kamisama.” She wrapped her weak arms around me.

And I pulled.

Blood surrounded the water around us. Hitomi choked more as Akiko choked out tears of her dying foster-mother. 

“The children…” she managed. “Ibuki-chan…”

“I’ll get the orphans, I promise. I’ll keep them safe.”

She managed a pale, thin smile, before her face went still, and her lungs no longer heaved. 


	14. Of Carts and Capitols

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We all have to keep moving, regardless of what we lose.

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Somehow within me, I knew that bodies were easier to move while they were still warm, so without hesitation, I heaved Hitomi’s body over my tiny shoulder as Akiko gasped with tears.

“Where are you taking her?”

“We can’t leave her to die here.”

“We can’t bury her out here, either!” Akiko wheezed. “The ground…”

Since the outside of the shrine had been completely annihilated by collapsing trees and the roaring water around us, I could see that the ground was flooded as far as the eye could see.

“We’ll bury her in the mountains, but we must hurry.”

“What about the rest of the servants?”

It was then I had an idea. A rather disturbing, depressing idea, but an idea nonetheless.

“The ox cart,” I said. “The ox probably died in the storm.”

Akiko swallowed and nodded.

“But the cart. Is it still standing?”

“What are you going to do with it?”

“We’re going to gather all the bodies and float the cart like a boat up until the flood ceases. When we find dry ground, we’ll bury everyone who worked for Amaterasu-omikami so they may rest in peace with their kami.”

“And the survivors?”

“The survivors will come with us and help.”

Akiko nodded and led me to where our ox-cart was kept, the one that Abe and the onmyouji often used to travel to and from the Capitol. As I expected, the ox was on his side, his eyes glassy. The wheels were still there, just a bit cracked. Once we reached dry land, they would help.

I climbed up and removed the cover.

“What are you doing that for?”

“To make room for the dead. With this cover, I don’t think we can lay them all out.”

Akiko chewed her lip, blood blossoming forward. “I don’t think there’s many survivors, Ibuki. Do you think we can bury them all?”

I eyed the cart before laying Hitomi to rest within it, closing her eyes. “Then we’ll burn them,” I said. “We’ll burn the cart on dry ground and bury the ashes. Either way, we can’t leave their souls here.”

“Why not?”

I frowned. “Do you want this place to become like where we just came from? We can’t leave these good people trapped here. It’s what’s right.”

Akiko nodded. “I follow. Can you come with me and gather everyone?” She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and straightened. It seemed that Akiko, too, had gone into an emergency mode, like I often did when disaster struck. There would be time to mourn later. 

Even so, finding the bodies was heartwrenching. None of the people housed in the shrine survived, nor did the attendants. Before long, the amount of drowned and crushed bodies filled the cart. I had to begin stacking the, which made my stomach churn with guilt. 

“This feels so wrong,” I said, a few quiet tears spilling on the bodies. 

“At least you’re not leaving them,” Akiko replied with a hand on my shoulder. “You care about their souls, which is a lot less than most humans could say.”

I opened my mouth to reply, but I heard a rustling and splashing of water nearby, the sound of people wading the water toward us.

“Survivors?” Akiko asked, her voice cracking.

Two orphans I recognized from the shrine poked their heads through the bushes, a small, tan boy with his hair in a tiny ponytail and a much taller one beside him, his hair in a bun. 

“You’re the oni boy!” the tiny boy said.

“I’m a girl,” I sighed, “but yes, I’m the resident oni.”

“I knew you’d live!” He let go of the taller boy’s hand and ran to me, clinging to my soaked and bloody robes. “Please keep us safe.”

“She doesn’t owe you anything,” the taller boy muttered, crossing his arms. Then he noticed the pile of bodies. “What are you doing?”

“I’m bringing them to a dry place to cremate them so their souls can be released.”

“We don’t want the dead trapped here,” Akiko added, patting my shoulder. 

I nodded. “They must join their ancestors, then be later reborn. If they’re trapped here, they’ll be miserable.”

“It stinks,” the taller boy said. 

I frowned, then turned to glare at him. “Are you going to help, or sit there and criticise me helping the dead?”

The boy went a bit pale. 

“Yeah, Kei-kun. You’re big and strong! Help the oni with the bodies!”

“It’s okay,” I said, wiping a bit of sweat off of my forehead. “I think we’re about done now. We just need to push them out of the flood.”

Kei looked as though he was about to say something, but instead, he burst into tears.

Akiko ran to him, arms ready for an embrace, with me and the tiny boy following. Nobody asked what was wrong, because we all knew. 

And we all joined him.

It was almost a bonding experience, in a sense, four children mourning the death of the world they once knew. But even so, we still had to dispose of everyone. 

I had seen funeral processions in the villages, but I had no idea what it felt like to be a part of one. The four of us pushed the cart out of the water, up the hills to where the post-earthquake flood hadn’t touched the land. The sun had set and risen again in the time it took to be out of the water, and by the time we had reached dry land, my entire body was screaming in pain, my stomach far beyond hunger to the point of nausea, and I could barely keep my eyes open. 

“We’ve got to be close to the Capitol now,” Kei said.

I flopped on the grass and stared at the pinks and purples in the sky with the rising sun. “How do you know that?”

“I used to live here with Teru-kun, before…”

The younger boy flopped beside me. “Our parents got really sick and died in their sleep. We lived in the woods until Hitomi-sama found us.” Suddenly, Teru’s eyes welled up with tears again.

“It’s okay,” Akiko said, though with the tremble of her voice, it didn’t sound at all okay. 

The four of us laid on the grass for a while to catch our breaths, watching the sun rise.

“If we’re close to the Capitol,” I said finally, “there must be oil to help with the fire.”

“There should be. Do you want to go get it?”

I furrowed my brows. “You know the city, don’t you?”

“I could come with you. Akiko-chan and Teru-kun could stay with the dead.”

“I can definitely keep an eye on Teru-kun,” Akiko said.

I turned to see that Teru had laid on her chest and was half-asleep, his eyes fluttering shut.

She patted his head. “We’ll be fine here.”

With a bow and the trust in her words, Kei and I set forth to the Capitol.


End file.
